New York State of Mind – Partie Un
New York is not a city for the indecisive or the broke. I discovered this when I first worked there in the early 80’s. I had moved back east with my boyfriend (who would eventually achieve ex-husband status) attending graduate school. I’d been accepted at Rutgers as a transfer student, but couldn’t get the financing together to cover my tuition, so off to Manhattan job hunting I went, in a hand-me-down and out-of-date skirt from my mother, a bow-neck blouse my grandmother had bought for me as a going away present, and a jacket that barely matched either. I was a bit shocked to learn that even with two years experience in the same field, the jobs I interviewed for paid little more than minimum wage, which would barely cover my monthly commuter pass on the train. So I responded to an ad from an employment “agency” which turned out to be one balding guy in a moldy office with a bottle of scotch in the desk drawer (he offered, I declined) and was soon employed at a direct reponse advertising agency. I worked there for two months (long story short, I was hired for one job but the deparment head decided she needed a personal assistant, so that’s what I did) then was referred by a co-worker for a job at a TV sales rep firm, where I found my niche, employment-wise.
The culture, that took some getting used to. Most of the other “girls” I worked with (yes, we were still called girls then) still lived with their families, and would until they married. This seemed to be the norm for NY women my age; I don’t know if it still is. At lunchtime I’d tag along and watch while they shopped. And shopped. Even on our meager salaries, they didn’t think twice about blowing most of their paycheck on a pair of $200 boots. I was brown bagging cream cheese sandwiches, and splurging on the occasional postcard at Fiorucci. On the train, I’d observe the women in their good suits and Louis Vuitton bags, which I had never seen nor heard of until then, and make notes for the future when I joined their ranks. (Even though I don’t like logos, I still have a nostalgic feeling when I see LV monogram bags, and always associate that brown and tan print with successful, sophisticated, professional women.)
I learned that if you were ordering coffee to go from a lunch counter that a) the person working behind the counter doesn’t want you to waste his/her time with saying hello, or asking how they are and b) that if you want black coffee, you had to order “coffee, black.” “Coffee, regular” meant coffee with milk and “coffee, light” meant with more milk. I learned that the Greek guys behind the lunch counter were always nice to young women and would sometimes give you a large salad when you’d ordered a small. I learned the difference between street harassment and a nice compliment from a stranger. I learned where to stand on the subway platform during rush hour to be able make it into the next train. I learned where you could buy a beer in a brown paper bag at Penn station for the Friday night ride home, and that there wasn’t a bathroom at the junction where you caught the “Dinky” into Princeton proper.
Almost twenty years passed between the time I first worked in NY, and when I started travelling there for work. And in that time, the city seemed to have transformed into something a lot cleaner, a bit friendlier, and less foreign. In the early 80’s, if someone bumped into you they’d growl or say “watch where you’re going!” Now, they say “excuse me.” But the biggest change isn’t the city itself, it’s being there with some financial resources behind me. The ability to afford a sit-down meal, a decent hotel room, (or in this case, be here on business and having most of my expenses covered) makes a huge difference in how I perceive this city. I loved it then, but felt like an outsider. I love it now, and feel like a welcome guest.
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I worked for Equitable Life in NYC in 1976 between grad school and …grad school (don’t ask). For a kid from Upstate New York, that experience was amazing, filled with fashion(I lived for a while with a college friend who could use one lipstick for everything), characters, an eyepopping array of street people and my first exposure to ‘the commute’. Great stuff; I remember it fondly.
We visited New York for a week once with another couple, stayed at a B&B with a wonderfully warm older woman, a native New Yorker, who had a great spot in, I believe, the Lower East Side (only several blocks from the Bowery) — driving up at night, we were very worried about what we’d booked, but it turned out to be fabulous. We loved the city, the energy, the diversity, the walkability, but have never managed to get back there (and, quite honestly, given your current administration, we’re not drawn to visiting south of the border). I love this post with your account of your early days in the city and especially your appreciation of being able to return there now under such different conditions.
God…I hate to admit that I too remember those days of silk bows with my suits…What were we thinking?
And I agree, New York is infinitely cleaner, safer and nicer now than it was in the early 80’s. Unfortunately, it’s also way more expensive. $1,000 plus a night for a room at the Carlyle…yikes!
In the late 60s I’d visit a friend at Parsons, who taught me to carry 10 bucks for mugging money. One night we came back to her Hells Kitchen apt to find the door off the hinges and everything gone but her clothes- all she cared abuot anyway.
Thanks for your reminiscence of both the place and that time of life.
How that reminds me of my first college job, where on my first day my mother INSISTED that I wear dressy flats, panty hose, a huge drindle skirt and a floucy, puffy, bow tied Laura Ashley blouse. I wanted to crawl into myself inside out in shame.
The next day I switched to straight skirt and men’s oxford and never felt quite as humiliated again. And I’m wearing a man’s oxford shirt in the law firm today!
cybill – a little bit of both, I think.
Is it the money that makes you feel like you belong or the wealth of experience in life you have picked up?
Thats a great account of your early career and I love how your boyfriend was promoted to ex-husband.
i’m always puzzled when i hear about the “gritty” new york days of the 70s and 80s… i was born, raised and started working in NYC in the late 70s… i travelled the subway back and forth from the bronx every day (still do). yes, there was more graffitti than there is now — but there was also a lot more character, a lot less chain stores, and Times Square had not been disney-fied. new yorkers lived their lives and left others to live their own. we didn’t worry so much about our “image” around the rest of the country until Koch made us a “tourist town” — around the time that industry and middle class jobs started to slip away.
i still love new york and never got the whole “unfriendly” thing that people insist was the zeitgeist of the 70s and 80s. i blame howard cossell (that ass). unfortunately, an image that is more than 25 years old lives on in movies and television and the middle american psyche.
the only time in my life i’ve ever heard gunshots was while visiting family in Tennessee; the only time i was ever mugged was in the Atlanta bus station; and the only time I was robbed was in an Alabama hospital.
drop me a line madame deja pseu and i’ll take you out for a drink! i work right near where you’re staying and i’ll prove new yorkers are friendly.
I thoroughly enjoyed this post – I always love to hear stories like this — even hopping the dinky to Princeton made me a little misty. Thanks!
Oh, I love this story. Your writing is so crisp and evocative. I do love NYC and its gritty texture. Something tells me that your “welcome guest” status has a lot to do with the dues you paid in the early 80s there! As difficult as those times were financially, they sound like wonderful, vivid memories. Thanks for sharing them! I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip!
bonnie-ann,
I never get a chance these days to travel much out of midtown, but I’m sorry to hear that so many areas are feeling the homogenizing effects of chain stores. Would have loved to have met you for a drink, but we’re leaving today and didn’t see your note until this morning. But I’ll be passing through again in October (this time on vacation) so let’s definitely arrange to meet! Anyone else who’ll be in New York or Paris in October, would love to meet you, just drop me an e-mail.
deja pseu — you’re on! i work right in midtown. we should drink at the algonquin!
i’ll be out of NYC from 9/24-10/5 though, so i hope it isn’t then. i’m off to stratford on avon, england, to see a production of Hamlet with the man of my dreams (he’s starring in it, not with me sadly!)
i hope your NY trip was a good one. but, yes, the chain stores drive me mad.
Sorry I haven’t been on your blog in days and days, Pseu, or I’d have invited you for a drink, too!
I agree with Bonnie-Ann on a lot of points. I was born here, but didn’t grow up here. I moved back almost 21 years, but spent a lot of time here before that move. I’ve lived in a couple of less-than-savory neighborhoods (and if you believe my student, I might live in one now), but I’ve always felt perfectly safe and at home.
I definitely relate as far as not being able to drop my paycheck on a pair of boots! I remember my mom telling me that people would judge my status with one look at my handbag, shoes and watch … and making a point to buy nice ones when I could afford them. I started wearing scarves during my year in Paris, but I really learned to wear them once I moved to NYC.
Hope you had a great visit, and maybe we can get together for that drink in the fall?