Lt. Uhura rocked that uniform like no one else. Cool earrings too!
Even as a child I was a fan of science fiction, and especially loved the TV show Star Trek. In that program, the one overriding guiding principle of Star Fleet and the Federation of Planets was known as the Prime Directive. (While this concept could be a bit fluid at times depending on plot points, it was consistently referred to throughout all of the various Star Trek franchises.)
So what does a policy of non-interference in alien civilizations have to do with style? Not much, except that it was the first and most important rule from which all others flowed. Many of us have our own Prime Directive when it comes to our conscious and unconscious style rules. Some examples of a Style PD might be:
To look thinner
To look younger
To look more sophisticated
To project a specific image at work
To look sexy
To look pretty
To look rich
To be on the cutting edge of fashion
To declare disdain for convention
To wear only timeless classics
To signal one’s allegiance to a philosophy, activity or social group (think Goth, Preppy, sports team jerseys, local norms, religious traditions)
To be comfortable
Nothing inherently wrong with any of these, and one’s Style PD might shift and change from time to time, or be a blend of any of the above. But adhering to a particular primary rule year in and year out without ever re-examining whether that objective is still what’s most important to us can close off some avenues of self-expression through style.
I’ve written before that I was a chubby child in a very weight-conscious family. “Thou shalt wear only what is Slimming,” was the Style PD I was handed as a catechism. That included no tucked shirts, nothing in bright colors, no pleated skirts, no horizontal stripes. And for decades I hewed uncritically to those rules, with “Slimming” as my clothing mantra. But in recent years, I’ve found that sometimes ignoring my Prime Directive allowed me to find and wear pieces that I loved and felt best expressed my inner self, even though they may not have been the most “slimming” choice. (My horizontal stripe marinières as an example, have become wardrobe favorites though they break that particular rule. And there are often ways to style certain pieces to make them more flattering. Inside Out Style is a wealth of information on how to make certain pieces or styles work best for different body types.)
It’s fine to have a Style PD, as long as it’s a conscious choice and a true expression of who we are today. I love finding garments that not only express my style but are flattering as well. But it shouldn’t feel like a prison sentence, or prohibit experimentation with new and different looks. Especially as we go through life’s passages, our identities and needs change. At some point we may decide that dressing primarily to try to look young or rich or classic just doesn’t express who we are anymore.
These days, my Style Prime Directive is to dress joyfully. The manifestation of that may change from day to day, but the elements of joyful dressing for me are Movement, Color (not necessarily *vivid* color), Harmony, and just a bit of Edge. Maybe I’m just kidding myself, but I think that the resultant look is more flattering when I feel *good* in what I’m wearing. Confidence, bien dans sa peau, call it what you will, it’s a powerful force.
Do you have a Style Prime Directive? Has it shifted over the years? Do you feel it’s still working for you?
~
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Ok can I just say I love this post 11/10?? I really enjoy hearing about how your childhood impacted on your esteem and how you’ve evolved clothes wise.
Me, I always go for Hardcore Groomed. I live in a hot sunny place, so colour is key. And my body is ravaged by pregnancy and lack of exercise so I try to cover my figure flaws.
What a brilliant a post! Mine now is ” dress to blend in” I used to dress much more flamboyantly when I was younger, I was a real fashion hound, but now I enjoy being unnoticed, I no longer want to stand out in a crowd so I tend to go for classic styles.
I wish I would opt for hard core groomed like FF, but I only make an effort with hair and make up if I’m going out somewhere at night, the rest of the time, I ‘m scrubbed face and haystack hair.
What a brilliant a post! Mine now is ” dress to blend in” I used to dress much more flamboyantly when I was younger, I was a real fashion hound, but now I enjoy being unnoticed, I no longer want to stand out in a crowd so I tend to go for classic styles.
I wish I would opt for hard core groomed like FF, but I only make an effort with hair and make up if I’m going out somewhere at night, the rest of the time, I ‘m scrubbed face and haystack hair.
First of all, thanks for the link to Inside Out Style, which held my attention for way too long! Your examples of Style PD were intriguing and you have put a lot of thought into your self expression. My life is shifting, so I will be taking note!
Wonderful post! I was also a “chubby” child till about age 14, and oh my, was I ever reminded of it at shopping time. So many rules for the chubby girls! Now my PD’s revolve more around looking age-appropriate while retaining, as you put it, the joy of dressing.
I LOVED Star Trek as a kid- still do I suppose, and your essay on style Prime Directive hits home. Of course I have one, it has been tinkered with slightly over the years, but it does guide me in my sartorial decisions. I love yours: dressing joyfully. I don’t think a better bottom line in the wardrobe could be more efficient. After all, if clothes make the man, and the man feels good, what more can you ask for?
Lovely post. Buttom line for me each outfit I wear is that I need to feel confident in it. I want to feel great. When I feel I look great, that feeling of feeling great and confidence usually follows. But it also needs to be fun. These 2 collide sometimes as my ‘fun’ outfits are riskier and don’t always give me that confidence. It’s great when they both work.
this is quite fascinating! confidence is indeed a powerful force. “movement, color, harmony and edge”…sounds like divine dressing to me. my guidelines have shifted a LOT over the years- i’ll develop a new concept or standards about how i want to dress, and that’s it- i run with it. right now, simplicity is key. no unnecessary bells and whistles. in regard to dressing, for the first time i feel completely liberated.
I dress for that slimming effect…and have done for years. My colour palette consist of black white and grey with punches of colour through scarves. Excellent post! I was a chubby kid too and it has shaped the way i feel about myself…I always wanted to be thinner and taller!
Oh Sue, you are so wonderful at hitting the nail on the head, but stylishly. I’ve been re-defining my own Prime Directive over the past year, thought I’d articulated a few key terms in negotiating Paris again this spring, and now that I’m back in the classroom, I’m weighing those terms yet again. I’d love to make time to post a response to this, but at the very least I’ll be mulling . . .thank you for yet another provocative and considered invitation to think about personal style. You rock!
Wow, would have never taken you for a Trekkie. I’m more of a Next Generation fan. As for my Style PD it’s a rebellious manifesto against the rules imposed on me as a child/ teenager. I was constantly told my subpar figure needed clothing to disguise and lift and nip and pinch… And I so love clothes and want to have fun with them. As a result my wardrobe lacks cohesion, because it’s divided into my public, conformist wardrobe and the private, fun, sometimes infantile pieces. The bridge between the two are my accessories: mostly bags.
I’ve mentioned the book Style Statement before, but for anyone wanting a new PD, or to reaffirm one, that is a way to find that distillation… not without work, though. “What does it *say* at the end?”, a friend demanded. It says who you are, but you’ll slog through some exercises to get there. Having done the heavy lifting, Style Statement has saved me from many mistakes.
I do have a Prime Directive or personal guidelines. I developed a system I blogged about called The Foundational Five…and it has really helped me stay focused. But one of the five gives me the freedom to be creative and uniquely me. I helped a friend develop her own 5 and she has received more compliments on her style this year than every before. The 5 keep me from mistakes which I used to make alot with style choices!!
I love this post, really of the posts you write that touch on your past and how you have evolved as a person.
As a fellow trekkie, I relate to the idea of a Prime Directive, and though mine is still evolving, I think “dressing joyfully” is pretty close, maybe dressing with joyful simplicity.
My first PD is “don’t look dowdy.” I am 38, but for years in my 20s and 30s I dressed quite dowdily (is that a word?). I realized that I could do better about 5 years ago after my now-husband gently pointed me in the direction of more flattering, youthful clothes.
Auxiliary PDs are: “Dress age-appropriately,” (no short skirts with bare legs, no cropped tops without a long tank underneath) “Only one significant accessory per outfit,” “Don’t wear colors in the orange/yellow family,” (wildly unflattering on me), and a general sense of wearing clothes that flatter the shape I’ve worked very hard to achieve and maintain.
An interesting post around the ever interesting subject, especially for us females. I have never wished to ” stand out ” with what I wear. Naturally I have wished to look good. These days, I hope to wear only comfortable clothes, clothes of high quality with just a ” bit ” of that special edge, which makes them feel mine.
Loved the post & all the comments – thank you!! Two things had far more influence over my life than I can say. I was a “pretty” child & had to work very hard to be taken seriously. This really had an impact on how I dressed – no sexy clothes;no girly clothes; no bright colours. Also although I’ve always valued stylish, well cut clothes I never bought them for myself as the women in my family not only “made do” but looked down on people who didn’t. Finally, in my early 60s I feel like me & I dress for me.
Loved the post & all the comments – thank you!! Two things had far more influence over my life than I can say. I was a “pretty” child & had to work very hard to be taken seriously. This really had an impact on how I dressed – no sexy clothes;no girly clothes; no bright colours. Also although I’ve always valued stylish, well cut clothes I never bought them for myself as the women in my family not only “made do” but looked down on people who didn’t. Finally, in my early 60s I feel like me & I dress for me.
I don’t think I’ve worked out my PD yet, although avoiding frumpiness is definitely one of my aims. Simplicity and age-appropriateness are other factors – then I get bored and buy red jeans … Let’s say my PD is a WIP.
Love the trekkie reference to the Prime Directive re personal style.
My PD has changed a lot over the years, and it is morphing again now, although this time it seems to be much simpler, perhaps because I am reaching a stage in my life where I only have to please myself. At this point dressing joyfully is important in that I want to wear only things I love, and suit my view of myself, internally as well as externally. I’ve also accepted that I like my hair a bit mussed and my makeup done but light and have chopped off my tresses and refined my morning routine. I think I’ve also found my color sweet-spot and I have to thank you for that due to a link in a previous post.
I am still refining and rejecting “tyrranies” left and right. (the tyranny of other’s expectations of how I should look, the tyranny of looking thinner, prettier, richer, younger, etc)
This was unexpectedly captivating for me. Although I *was* a chubby kid, in my family I was deemed “skinny” and the message was that I would only be attractive if I put on more weight! So my PD has never been to look thinner.
From childhood, I wanted to look/be grown up. Pretty easy to do with clothes available in the 50’s and 60’s, though not with children’s clothing. So I wanted women’s clothing. And nagged until I got some.
So I start to think about this and so often the PD is not about looking more or less of something but is a direct contradiction to fact. Some were not thin and I was not a grown up child.
Some of this problem with physicality solves itself: I grew up. Thinness can be achieved with knowledge and immense single-mindedness. Fatness can be achieved. Blondness can be achieved. Height might require growth hormones and painful operations. Same with gender change. Awfully hard to get shorter, though and who can become younger? If I want to look young, that shows up the plain fact that I’m not young and can never be anymore.
My current PD is more like always looking like I’m on the move, arriving, passing through. I think that contradicts the fact that I have few deadlines and fewer places I have the opportunity to go or that I want to go.
Such a fab post – like you i come from a very figure aware family – fattist to the extreme might be another way of looking at it – and grew up in an extremely sexist, fattist set of society – oh the teen angst – i am always looking to the slimming effect or figure flattering and yet now i realise the best accessory i ever wear is a smile and being happy, and at ease with myself and my fashion choices. Throwing away the metaphorical corset is so very liberating! Fab post and thanks for your great comment – much appreciated xx
I love the original post, and all the comments. Such brilliant women, self-aware and self-affirming. What a treat! Like Mardel, and thanks to your postings earlier, I’ve settled on the colors that make me happy and that flatter me (amazing that one leads to the other, non?), and, like Amy, I’m settling into clothes that work for me. My PD then, must mean “be yourself.” in DC work, I wore boring clothes in my 20s and 30s to fit in and be taken seriously. After my marriage ended, I picked more “date clothes” that were totally not me. Now, I’m finally going with what I’ve always loved, full skirts, wrap dresses, cashmere sweaters and tailored trousers, and loafers and 2in heels. And dressing is finally fun!
You write so well–loved thinking about this concept also! I’m glad you could break away from the rules of your youth–creativity is liberating. Me? I want to have fun dressing and be creative. My style changes from time to time, but those “directives” remain.
@coffeeaddict I’m not as hardcore as some, but I watched (and loved) all of the versions. Next Generation was probably my favorite, especially when they turned Patrick Stewart loose on some Shakespeare. Did you know that the NG cast *hated* their uniforms because they didn’t fit right and rode up? You’ll always see them tugging their tops back down when they stand up. It’s good that you’re able to express all sides of yourself with your style.
@Judith Isn’t Inside Out Style just fabulous? Imogen is so knowledgeable and communicates concepts so clearly. It’s been a lot of fun exploring and decoding my style, hope you enjoy your own exploration.
@Patti That’s hard to believe; you’re quite slender now. The great thing is that now we’re free from some of those constraints and can really go for what brings the joy.
@Pam @ over50feeling40 You Foundational Five concept is a great guideline. I think when our style flows from what we want to express rather than what we think we *should* wear, we make far fewer mistakes.
@hostess of the humble bungalow You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into how you want to dress, and I think your black/white/grey palette works brilliantly for you.
@materfamilias Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when I can write something that resonates. I do hope you’ll be able to post a response at some point; I’d love to read how this is developing for you.
@Amy It sounds as though you’ve carefully honed your own style guidelines. I wonder from reading your comment what originally steered you toward a style you now consider dowdy?
@Duchesse I keep saying I’m going to work my way through this (bought the book a couple of years ago, started but never finished). I think I’d probably get more out of it now than ever.
@Caroline&Peter You’re welcome, and thank YOU. I’m glad to hear that you are finally able to choose clothing that pleases you. I think that attitude of “making do” was common among women our mothers’ age.
@Mardel From what I’ve seen and read, a move toward greater simplicity is common for women at our stage of life. I love the idea of rejecting tyrannies. Our style PD should be a support, not a straightjacket. Isn’t is amazing how much flows from figuring out the right colors??
@fashion and frank You always look amazing, and you have such a wonderful, genuine smile. I love your phrase, “throwing away the metaphorical corset,” brilliant!!!
@Vildy that’s a very interesting observation about wanting to look like what we are not. And how futile it can be trying to look like what we are not as it only points up the contrast. “On the move,” is a very interesting PD! I wonder if there’s a part of you that’s still “on the move?”
So wonderful to have your intelligence and kind eloquence focused like this. Style has enormous emotional components – tied up with aesthetics and social context. I hope you achieve your Prime Directive over and over again.
My culture’s directive is to be Appropriate first. Then comes beauty, but no showing off. My PD now, like most of us, is evolving. I realize that as a young woman I often dressed to deflect attention. Now that I’m older, and more invisible, ironically I can dress with more passion.
Comfortable is a big part of my directive. If it isn’t comfortable, I won’t wear it very often. What does that say about me? I’m not sure I want to know!
Sue: Like everyone else, I love this post. I can’t believe (given my scary addiction to old episodes of Star Trek), that I’ve never thought in these terms. Dressing joyfully is key for me too. I love it when my clothes spark conversation and when people tell me they love the colours I’m wearing. I can tell I’m improving the moods of others, as well as my own!
I did some thinking on this post. It is brilliant by the way. I loved Star Trek from the first episode and loved the new ST with Chris Pine. When I was young, I probably conformed to trying to dress like everyone else. I think only recently have I decided that I will only wear what I love and makes me feel good. I may wear classic, rocker-chic, or cowgirl. I just want to love it. I may change as I grow yet older, I guess I will just have to wait and see what the future brings.
I can so relate to this posting! My mum is disappointed when the colours I choose a) don’t emphasise the green colour of my eyes b) don’t go well with the blonde hair (such as a camel casehmere sweater), she wants to see me wearing purples and greens but I LOVE that camel cashmere sweater and I am wearing it, basta!
Starched is what I always wanted to be and it seems around 40 I am getting closer to the starched me.
Ok can I just say I love this post 11/10?? I really enjoy hearing about how your childhood impacted on your esteem and how you’ve evolved clothes wise.
Me, I always go for Hardcore Groomed. I live in a hot sunny place, so colour is key. And my body is ravaged by pregnancy and lack of exercise so I try to cover my figure flaws.
xxxx
What a brilliant a post!
Mine now is ” dress to blend in” I used to dress much more flamboyantly when I was younger, I was a real fashion hound, but now I enjoy being unnoticed, I no longer want to stand out in a crowd so I tend to go for classic styles.
I wish I would opt for hard core groomed like FF, but I only make an effort with hair and make up if I’m going out somewhere at night, the rest of the time, I ‘m scrubbed face and haystack hair.
What a brilliant a post!
Mine now is ” dress to blend in” I used to dress much more flamboyantly when I was younger, I was a real fashion hound, but now I enjoy being unnoticed, I no longer want to stand out in a crowd so I tend to go for classic styles.
I wish I would opt for hard core groomed like FF, but I only make an effort with hair and make up if I’m going out somewhere at night, the rest of the time, I ‘m scrubbed face and haystack hair.
First of all, thanks for the link to Inside Out Style, which held my attention for way too long! Your examples of Style PD were intriguing and you have put a lot of thought into your self expression. My life is shifting, so I will be taking note!
Wonderful post! I was also a “chubby” child till about age 14, and oh my, was I ever reminded of it at shopping time. So many rules for the chubby girls! Now my PD’s revolve more around looking age-appropriate while retaining, as you put it, the joy of dressing.
Patti @ NotDeadYet Style
I LOVED Star Trek as a kid- still do I suppose, and your essay on style Prime Directive hits home. Of course I have one, it has been tinkered with slightly over the years, but it does guide me in my sartorial decisions. I love yours: dressing joyfully. I don’t think a better bottom line in the wardrobe could be more efficient. After all, if clothes make the man, and the man feels good, what more can you ask for?
Lovely post. Buttom line for me each outfit I wear is that I need to feel confident in it. I want to feel great. When I feel I look great, that feeling of feeling great and confidence usually follows. But it also needs to be fun. These 2 collide sometimes as my ‘fun’ outfits are riskier and don’t always give me that confidence. It’s great when they both work.
this is quite fascinating! confidence is indeed a powerful force. “movement, color, harmony and edge”…sounds like divine dressing to me.
my guidelines have shifted a LOT over the years- i’ll develop a new concept or standards about how i want to dress, and that’s it- i run with it. right now, simplicity is key. no unnecessary bells and whistles. in regard to dressing, for the first time i feel completely liberated.
-Style Odyssey
I dress for that slimming effect…and have done for years.
My colour palette consist of black white and grey with punches of colour through scarves.
Excellent post!
I was a chubby kid too and it has shaped the way i feel about myself…I always wanted to be thinner and taller!
Oh Sue, you are so wonderful at hitting the nail on the head, but stylishly. I’ve been re-defining my own Prime Directive over the past year, thought I’d articulated a few key terms in negotiating Paris again this spring, and now that I’m back in the classroom, I’m weighing those terms yet again. I’d love to make time to post a response to this, but at the very least I’ll be mulling . . .thank you for yet another provocative and considered invitation to think about personal style. You rock!
Wow, would have never taken you for a Trekkie. I’m more of a Next Generation fan.
As for my Style PD it’s a rebellious manifesto against the rules imposed on me as a child/ teenager. I was constantly told my subpar figure needed clothing to disguise and lift and nip and pinch… And I so love clothes and want to have fun with them. As a result my wardrobe lacks cohesion, because it’s divided into my public, conformist wardrobe and the private, fun, sometimes infantile pieces. The bridge between the two are my accessories: mostly bags.
I’ve mentioned the book Style Statement before, but for anyone wanting a new PD, or to reaffirm one, that is a way to find that distillation… not without work, though. “What does it *say* at the end?”, a friend demanded. It says who you are, but you’ll slog through some exercises to get there. Having done the heavy lifting, Style Statement has saved me from many mistakes.
A
I do have a Prime Directive or personal guidelines. I developed a system I blogged about called The Foundational Five…and it has really helped me stay focused. But one of the five gives me the freedom to be creative and uniquely me. I helped a friend develop her own 5 and she has received more compliments on her style this year than every before. The 5 keep me from mistakes which I used to make alot with style choices!!
I love this post, really of the posts you write that touch on your past and how you have evolved as a person.
As a fellow trekkie, I relate to the idea of a Prime Directive, and though mine is still evolving, I think “dressing joyfully” is pretty close, maybe dressing with joyful simplicity.
My first PD is “don’t look dowdy.” I am 38, but for years in my 20s and 30s I dressed quite dowdily (is that a word?). I realized that I could do better about 5 years ago after my now-husband gently pointed me in the direction of more flattering, youthful clothes.
Auxiliary PDs are: “Dress age-appropriately,” (no short skirts with bare legs, no cropped tops without a long tank underneath) “Only one significant accessory per outfit,” “Don’t wear colors in the orange/yellow family,” (wildly unflattering on me), and a general sense of wearing clothes that flatter the shape I’ve worked very hard to achieve and maintain.
An interesting post around the ever interesting subject, especially for us females.
I have never wished to ” stand out ” with what I wear. Naturally I have wished to look good.
These days, I hope to wear only comfortable clothes, clothes of high quality with just a ” bit ” of that special edge, which makes them feel mine.
Loved the post & all the comments – thank you!! Two things had far more influence over my life than I can say. I was a “pretty” child & had to work very hard to be taken seriously. This really had an impact on how I dressed – no sexy clothes;no girly clothes; no bright colours. Also although I’ve always valued stylish, well cut clothes I never bought them for myself as the women in my family not only “made do” but looked down on people who didn’t. Finally, in my early 60s I feel like me & I dress for me.
Loved the post & all the comments – thank you!! Two things had far more influence over my life than I can say. I was a “pretty” child & had to work very hard to be taken seriously. This really had an impact on how I dressed – no sexy clothes;no girly clothes; no bright colours. Also although I’ve always valued stylish, well cut clothes I never bought them for myself as the women in my family not only “made do” but looked down on people who didn’t. Finally, in my early 60s I feel like me & I dress for me.
I don’t think I’ve worked out my PD yet, although avoiding frumpiness is definitely one of my aims. Simplicity and age-appropriateness are other factors – then I get bored and buy red jeans … Let’s say my PD is a WIP.
Love the trekkie reference to the Prime Directive re personal style.
My PD has changed a lot over the years, and it is morphing again now, although this time it seems to be much simpler, perhaps because I am reaching a stage in my life where I only have to please myself.
At this point dressing joyfully is important in that I want to wear only things I love, and suit my view of myself, internally as well as externally. I’ve also accepted that I like my hair a bit mussed and my makeup done but light and have chopped off my tresses and refined my morning routine. I think I’ve also found my color sweet-spot and I have to thank you for that due to a link in a previous post.
I am still refining and rejecting “tyrranies” left and right. (the tyranny of other’s expectations of how I should look, the tyranny of looking thinner, prettier, richer, younger, etc)
This was unexpectedly captivating for me. Although I *was* a chubby kid, in my family I was deemed “skinny” and the message was that I would only be attractive if I put on more weight! So my PD has never been to look thinner.
From childhood, I wanted to look/be grown up. Pretty easy to do with clothes available in the 50’s and 60’s, though not with children’s clothing. So I wanted women’s clothing. And nagged until I got some.
So I start to think about this and so often the PD is not about looking more or less of something but is a direct contradiction to fact. Some were not thin and I was not a grown up child.
Some of this problem with physicality solves itself: I grew up. Thinness can be achieved with knowledge and immense single-mindedness. Fatness can be achieved. Blondness can be achieved. Height might require growth hormones and painful operations. Same with gender change. Awfully hard to get shorter, though and who can become younger? If I want to look young, that shows up the plain fact that I’m not young and can never be anymore.
My current PD is more like always looking like I’m on the move, arriving, passing through. I think that contradicts the fact that I have few deadlines and fewer places I have the opportunity to go or that I want to go.
Such a fab post – like you i come from a very figure aware family – fattist to the extreme might be another way of looking at it – and grew up in an extremely sexist, fattist set of society – oh the teen angst – i am always looking to the slimming effect or figure flattering and yet now i realise the best accessory i ever wear is a smile and being happy, and at ease with myself and my fashion choices. Throwing away the metaphorical corset is so very liberating! Fab post and thanks for your great comment – much appreciated xx
http://fashionandfrank.blogspot.com/
I love the original post, and all the comments. Such brilliant women, self-aware and self-affirming. What a treat! Like Mardel, and thanks to your postings earlier, I’ve settled on the colors that make me happy and that flatter me (amazing that one leads to the other, non?), and, like Amy, I’m settling into clothes that work for me. My PD then, must mean “be yourself.” in DC work, I wore boring clothes in my 20s and 30s to fit in and be taken seriously. After my marriage ended, I picked more “date clothes” that were totally not me. Now, I’m finally going with what I’ve always loved, full skirts, wrap dresses, cashmere sweaters and tailored trousers, and loafers and 2in heels. And dressing is finally fun!
You write so well–loved thinking about this concept also!
I’m glad you could break away from the rules of your youth–creativity is liberating. Me? I want to have fun dressing and be creative. My style changes from time to time, but those “directives” remain.
I want to look “strong” — whatever that means to me 🙂
@Faux Fuchsia I’m so glad you enjoyed. Hardcore Groomed, love it!!!
@Bourbon&Pearls Thank you! I tend to enjoy a certain degree of “flying under the radar” myself these days. You do look great when you dress up though!
@coffeeaddict I’m not as hardcore as some, but I watched (and loved) all of the versions. Next Generation was probably my favorite, especially when they turned Patrick Stewart loose on some Shakespeare. Did you know that the NG cast *hated* their uniforms because they didn’t fit right and rode up? You’ll always see them tugging their tops back down when they stand up. It’s good that you’re able to express all sides of yourself with your style.
@Judith Isn’t Inside Out Style just fabulous? Imogen is so knowledgeable and communicates concepts so clearly. It’s been a lot of fun exploring and decoding my style, hope you enjoy your own exploration.
@Patti That’s hard to believe; you’re quite slender now. The great thing is that now we’re free from some of those constraints and can really go for what brings the joy.
@the Citizen Rosebud Yes! There’s little point, other than workplace constraints, to dress any other way.
@Pam @ over50feeling40 You Foundational Five concept is a great guideline. I think when our style flows from what we want to express rather than what we think we *should* wear, we make far fewer mistakes.
@Susan Tiner Thank you. “Joyful simplicity” is a wonderful starting point!
@sylvia I know what you mean. Sometimes it’s a hard balance to achieve!
@Stephanie Hoff Clayton I think you’ve really honed your style quite beautifully. The dramatic simplicity you’ve achieved is inspiring.
@hostess of the humble bungalow You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into how you want to dress, and I think your black/white/grey palette works brilliantly for you.
@materfamilias Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when I can write something that resonates. I do hope you’ll be able to post a response at some point; I’d love to read how this is developing for you.
@Amy It sounds as though you’ve carefully honed your own style guidelines. I wonder from reading your comment what originally steered you toward a style you now consider dowdy?
@metscan I think you have such a definitive style. It’s quietly elegant, but always with some element of visual interest.
@Duchesse I keep saying I’m going to work my way through this (bought the book a couple of years ago, started but never finished). I think I’d probably get more out of it now than ever.
@Caroline&Peter You’re welcome, and thank YOU. I’m glad to hear that you are finally able to choose clothing that pleases you. I think that attitude of “making do” was common among women our mothers’ age.
@Tiffany A WIP is a fine place to be. I think there’s room for some red jeans (or the equivalent) in everyone’s Prime Directive.
@Mardel From what I’ve seen and read, a move toward greater simplicity is common for women at our stage of life. I love the idea of rejecting tyrannies. Our style PD should be a support, not a straightjacket. Isn’t is amazing how much flows from figuring out the right colors??
@fashion and frank You always look amazing, and you have such a wonderful, genuine smile. I love your phrase, “throwing away the metaphorical corset,” brilliant!!!
@Vildy that’s a very interesting observation about wanting to look like what we are not. And how futile it can be trying to look like what we are not as it only points up the contrast. “On the move,” is a very interesting PD! I wonder if there’s a part of you that’s still “on the move?”
@Gretchen “Be yourself” is a fabulous PD! I’m glad you’re able to wear what you love now.
@fashionoverfifty Thanks so much! Creativity is so important, as is fun.
@WendyB Strong is a good one. I think you achieve that on a regular basis!
So wonderful to have your intelligence and kind eloquence focused like this. Style has enormous emotional components – tied up with aesthetics and social context. I hope you achieve your Prime Directive over and over again.
My culture’s directive is to be Appropriate first. Then comes beauty, but no showing off. My PD now, like most of us, is evolving. I realize that as a young woman I often dressed to deflect attention. Now that I’m older, and more invisible, ironically I can dress with more passion.
Comfortable is a big part of my directive. If it isn’t comfortable, I won’t wear it very often. What does that say about me? I’m not sure I want to know!
Sue: Like everyone else, I love this post. I can’t believe (given my scary addiction to old episodes of Star Trek), that I’ve never thought in these terms. Dressing joyfully is key for me too. I love it when my clothes spark conversation and when people tell me they love the colours I’m wearing. I can tell I’m improving the moods of others, as well as my own!
Deja, I read somewhere the crew kept teasing Steward for tugging at his shirt and they later dubbed it “The Picard maneuver”
Love love love this post! I think it’s so important to love what you wear and to break rules because it’s about expressing your unique personality.
thanks for the link too!
I did some thinking on this post. It is brilliant by the way. I loved Star Trek from the first episode and loved the new ST with Chris Pine.
When I was young, I probably conformed to trying to dress like everyone else.
I think only recently have I decided that I will only wear what I love and makes me feel good. I may wear classic, rocker-chic, or cowgirl. I just want to love it. I may change as I grow yet older, I guess I will just have to wait and see what the future brings.
I can so relate to this posting! My mum is disappointed when the colours I choose
a) don’t emphasise the green colour of my eyes
b) don’t go well with the blonde hair (such as a camel casehmere sweater), she wants to see me wearing purples and greens but I LOVE that camel cashmere sweater and I am wearing it, basta!
Starched is what I always wanted to be and it seems around 40 I am getting closer to the starched me.