Weekend Update: Self-Care And More

Comfortable footwear is good self-care! Here, wearing Mephisto Lissandra wedge sandals. Details at une femme d'un certain age.

Self-Care Update…

While August is a popular month for getting away on vacation, for me it’s often a good time to regroup, reset and put self-care on the front burner. My definition of self-care includes tackling projects I’ve been putting off. Here’s an update on a few of them…

Above: taking a break after another round of closet purging and organizing. Iced espresso has become my new Favorite Thing this summer, along with these sandals.

Teeth

My tooth extraction went well (as well as something like that can go). I had very little pain which was easily handled with the occasional Advil. I’ve been mostly hunkered down at home for the last week, and still have a few days to go before my temporary tooth can be placed. It’s still pretty shocking each time I see myself, and I’m very self-conscious when I do go out. I look like Alfred E. Neuman. 😉 (Wish I could adopt his “what, me worry?” attitude, at least about my missing tooth!)

Pilates

I’ve now had four private Pilates sessions, and think this is exactly what I’ve been needing. Even though I barely break a sweat, I still come home each time feeling as though I’ve really had a workout. My muscles are just a little bit sore the day after most sessions.

Working one-on-one with an instructor is pricey, but so far it feels like money well spent. It’s hard work, and requires a lot of concentration. It’s making me realize how disconnected from my body I’ve become over the years. She’ll ask me, “do you feel muscle X engaging?” and my response is often “I’m not sure.” In between sessions, I’m starting to be more aware of my posture.

Closet And Wardrobe

I’ve spent several hours this week working on my closet, and have cleared out quite a lot. I still have a couple of drawers and shelves to tackle. In the past, I’ve been too ruthless, and culled pieces I wish I’d kept. But at the same time, I’m also trying to release those items that I’m feeling “meh” about. What’s interesting is that some things I loved a couple of years ago are now in the “meh” pile. It makes me more skeptical about thinking of any item as a “forever” piece. I’ll be posting more about what I kept and what I tossed soon.

This is also the time of year I tend to find myself in the style doldrums. It’s too hot to layer, and I’ve been living in my white linen shirts with looser, lighter-weight cropped jeans. But I’m getting very bored, and am keeping an eye out in the summer sales for some lightweight tops with some color and/or pattern. (And that AREN’T polyester!)

Blog

I’m playing with the formatting and look of the blog a bit, but it’s still a work in progress. If you notice anything that doesn’t seem to be working correctly, please let me know. There were a couple of unrelated tech glitches earlier in the week, but they seem to be resolved now.

How’s your month of August going so far?

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69 Comments

  1. Why not wear dresses, if you’re bored? You said that you were willing to try something new! In summer, I live in dresses, so cool,comfortable and easy to wear. No searching for a matching top/bottom. Can be styled up or down with accessories. I love my summer dresses!

    1. I’m not completely adverse to the idea, but I find so few dresses that don’t make me feel frumpy. And I also have developed a lot of spiderweb veins on my legs in the last few years, so need skirts that come to the knee at least.

      1. Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs to the rescue! I use it every time I wear a skirt, dress and even shorts. Fabulous stuff. Just don’t buy it in too dark a shade and be SURE to wash off with a washcloth each night! Your legs will look gorgeous!

        1. Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs comes in a light shade, but not every store carries it, so you may need to order online. If the light is still too dark, there are a couple other brands featured on Amazon that have a VERY light shade.

          1. I had my spider veins injected by a doctor and my legs look much better. I live in dresses (in summer), but the trick is finding styles that aren’t frumpy, which I must do for the most part, as I often receive compliments on them.

        2. When I was working, I didn’t like the shimmer in the Sally Hansen so I used Revlon Colorstay 24 Hour foundation in the dry skin formula. It stayed on through showers and there are many, many shades. A little pricier than Sally Hansen because it is a smaller bottle but it worked better for me. I also prefer dresses in summer.

      2. I feel the same, Susan. I just don’t feel right in a dress although I think they look good on some women. I had my veins done last summer and it was the best thing I ever did. The whole thing took several months doing different sections at a time, waiting to see if anything needed tweaking, etc. But SO worth it in the end. I still won’t wear dresses but can now wear shorts for my long walks.

    2. I was just thinking the same. In my mind (and especially in the Europe) 2018 is the year of the dress. Or is it just that this is the first year I have worn dresses a lot, and bought some very wearable ones that I’ll hopefully have for several Irish summers. I’m loving animal print too. I’ve made a conscious decision to ear less jeans and chinos and try to choose dresses instead, and the odd jumpsuit. I think what put me off dresses in summer was the pale irish legs, but fake tan (liquid legs) works wonders. It’ll be into opaque tights when the weather gets colder, and I hope to layer some of my new dresses with jeggings and cardigans, and scarves.

  2. Health-Starting to drink 2 glasses of water as soon as my feet touch the floor. I am not hungry as I am dehydrated says a doctor.
    Home-heard the annual dumpster plop down in our little neighborhood this very early morning. We have 2 days to clean out the basement where I have to make a three point turn to get out!

    Yes, the dog days of August is a very good time to take stock and take action.

  3. I hope your tooth situation is resolved quickly and with minimal pain! Pilates is the best….what a difference it has made for me as well. As for the spider veins, I have been going to a vein doctor for the last 2 years for a combo laser and saline treatment and it has made a world of difference. DO NOT try one of those clinics, I asked my dermatologist at the medical school for a reference. I have decided that putting money into that and Pilates means I feel better about myself and spend less on clothes. Have fun purging your closets!

  4. Good luck with your implant process. My hubs had one earlier this year, which turned out great. I can’t imagine how disconcerting it must be to have a tooth missing. I’ve been cleaning out my closet this week, too! So far, it’s gone well. Im going to try ThredUp this time, for consignment/donation. Have heard good things about the process if you have nicer, name brand items. Beginning to plan a travel wardrobe for our Viking ocean cruise in October. Wondering if it will be warmer than usual this fall in Europe, as summer has been. Where is your next trip?

    1. We’re heading up to San Francisco and Napa for a few days in September, will be posting about that soon!

  5. I’ve given up jeans for the summer. While I live in New England, and it’s usually not nearly as hot as Southern California, we’ve been experiencing lots of humidity and temps in the 90’s. I’ve been buying Athleta pants which are very lightweight, wash easily and are very packable. I love the Aspire pants and pair them with a lightweight tee or linen shirt. Also, check out the Midtown pants. I own both. They do come in petite sizing. They’ve been a life saver. They look great with skater shoes or sneakers and come in some great colors. I like the Constellation Blue and Auberge. No wrinkles and right out of the dryer wear. I had them on the other day and my very hip 30 something hairdresser ordered a pair right on the spot. For reference I usually wear a 10P in this brand ao true to size. I agree with the dress comment. Three kids later, one set of twins , my nursing career and being in my early 60’s and I too have the dreaded spider veins. I had them lysed once and decided it wasn’t worth it.

    1. Lisa, I have 3 pairs of these Athleta pants I refer to as my “magic pants”. They are my go-to for plane travel, as they are comfortable, lightweight, can be dressed up, and DON’T WRINKLE even after you’ve slept in them! I once spilled a cup of red wine on my lap on a flight from Houston to Germany (I know, I know). My navy magic pants seemed to absorb the wine without really showing much, and then I washed them out in the hotel sink when we arrived. They were dry the next morning and looked perfect.

      1. I’ve been wanting to try these, but every time I go to order, my size is on backorder for several months! But I decided to order anyway; maybe I’ll get them in time for next year’s trip.

        1. What is the name of the Athleta “travel” pants?
          BTW, loved the sandals so much that I bought an identical pair. They’re so comfortable, that I think I want every color!
          Glad the tooth extraction went well. Last year, I had an implant. While the entire process was lengthy, it was worth it.

  6. Interesting that you are more aware of your posture in between sessions. That is the one thing I cannot master. I keep slouching.
    Missing a tooth is terrible. Makes you feel dead common. Good luck with the new one, even if temporary.
    Your blog: I have noticed with yours and a few other blogs I follow that I have to keep filling in my name and email every time I comment. Annoying. No idea why my devices don’t remember. I always accept cookies.

    1. I’m sorry about that and will mention to my tech support. I’m hesitant to add a plugin for comments, as I know other bloggers who have had problems with them. But let me see what I can find out.

  7. It is very hard to find cute tops that are not polyester or rayon–I usually stick to natural fabrics–poly makes me clammy and rayon shrinks even with gentle laundering

    1. That’s not recommended in my case as there was considerable bone loss. The surgeon wants to wait 3 months for the bone graft to take before doing the implant. I’ll admit that having done an implant before (back molar) and understanding what’s involved, I’m a bit suspect of these “same day” procedures.

      1. I think your surgeon is wise. Those same-day procedures can backfire and make corrective work more difficult.

        One thing I want to say – not about anyone in particular – is that it is very unfair to say nasty things about people who are unable to afford such expensive dentistry. Even where I live, with a very good national health system, there is next to no dental coverage except a few procedures (not implants!) for the most destitute, on social assistance; nothing for precarious or poorly-paid workers. In turn, this disqualifies them from good jobs.

        And it is so difficult to find tops in natural fibres. I have several old ones from a retail chain that is far from high end, but pure cotton. Seeking cotton, linen … and hemp.

  8. Like you, I’m learning that aging is a lot about maintenance. I’ve been spending thousands on my teeth in the past decade. Love the Mad magazine reference. Good for you with the exercise program: a new study says physical activity is the most important way to slow down normal aging effects.

  9. Several months ago you posted a travel clothes steamer that you liked. Can you please let me know what brand. I’d love to purchase one.
    Thank you

  10. Susan,
    What are you doing with the clothes you no longer want? In the past, I’ve donated to “Dress for Success” when Talbots runs their annual clothing drive; but that only happens once a year. I have lots of expensive work wear that I’d like to go to a new owner. Any ideas?

    1. Hi Julie, it depends on the pieces. The Eileen Fisher pieces I return to the store as part of their “Renew” program. The rest I “option” first to a friend who has 3 young adult daughters who are all about my size. What they don’t want gets donated to Beit T’Shuvah, a local non-profit addiction treatment program.

      Other than Dress For Success, I’m not aware of any large-scale organizations for donating women’s work clothing. You might check your local non-profit directory to see if there’s anything similar where you live.

    2. Julie, If you live in southern Southern California (e.g. Orange County), Working Wardrobes is always looking for good quality work wear. They are a wonderful organization helping men and women get back to work after homelessness or abusive relationships. They have a special program now helping vets get into the civilian workforce.

    3. I’m a volunteer at Dress for Success and we happily accept donations all year round. You don’t need to wait for the Talbots event! Please Google to see if there’s a chapter convenient to you.

  11. Three years ago, I retired and began to read many fashion blogs for “women of a certain age” in an attempt to figure out how to build a transition wardrobe. You are one of two blogs still on my go-to list. After three years, I recall many enthusiastic purchases and you would wear the item (and post photos) a couple of times – but then it disappeared. As you are culling your closet, I would be interested in seeing some of those “statement” pieces you are tossing – and which ones you are keeping (even if we don’t see them in photos any longer).

  12. You bring up as very important point: it’s getting very hard to find natural fibers in clothing. Polyester and polyester blends aren’t what I want. They’re foisted upon us. It took me hours combing through the mall to find a linen shirt in the summer sales, but it was worth it. Nothing surpasses natural fibers in the summer heat, IMO.

  13. Closet clearing seems to a never ending process for me lately, even after a major overhaul about 18 months ago. I completely understand the “meh” feeling. Just lately I’m feeling quite ambilivent about several pieces and wonder if I still haven’t nailed my style. An aging body seems to morph rather more quickly and I’m now spending much more time trying to find pieces to disguise the sag, particularly around the waist area. Haha! What waist? There are still so many “clingy” tops, even in the shops which supposedly are aimed at mature, but not frumpy, women. Grrr!

  14. I love that striped gauze shirt! Since California currently feels like the face of the sun (as you can relate), I have been wearing cotton gauze pretty much every day. I have had to retire one shirt because many years of wear have made it more “gauzy” than is decent in public, so I may have to replace it with that gorgeous striped number.

  15. I don’t buy into clothes for “Women of a Certain Age”!
    AGE?? What’s that? Swimming long distance does wonders to your body, so does doubles tennis, walking instead of driving, eating and drinking in moderation, etc……. A sports club with a pool membership is cheaper than private Pilate. They also have dancing sessions which are exhilarating. Just got back from a trip to Mideast and the Balkans. Many older “ chic “ women everywhere. Please, no excuses!!!!!

    1. Daniella, I’m a bit confused. I have no idea what you’re referring to, either regarding “clothes for women of a certain age” or “excuses.”

        1. Vigorous exercise will be more beneficial for your body than a pilates class (and will save you money) and age appropriate fashion is nonsense. I got the impression that she believes that age is irrelevant when it comes to chicness. Well, this is my interpretation of her post.

      1. Sorry for the confusion. Here’s some clarification:as I read through some of the comments from your followers in the past or blogs I began to realize that many women in the States are obsessed with aging, bodies, appropriateness of dress, should I, should I not because…..etc…etc…I was born, raised and educated in Europe. I never observed the women in my life or otherwise obsess about their bodies, about the spider veins on their upper legs, thick thighs, too thin calves, big derrières, small ones, etc ….
        They walked everywhere, they ate in moderation, they maintained a pride in the way they dressed, they smelled divine, they were confident, they dressed up to cross the neighborhood street to buy a loaf of bread, they came in all heights and sizes, all tres soignée. Some were pretty, some were not, it didn’t seem to make a difference in their attitude. The American women are quite beautiful but many express such insecurity and cluelessness about their personas that makes me wonder what is there deep down that seems to get in the way. I’m now in my mid seventies and I am always amused to hear how “Old” I am whenever I have to reveal my age. I’m no beauty, my body has changed somewhat, it’s normal, but this does not prevent me from finding great clothes, and yes, dresses, skirts, pants, culottes, leggings, high and low heels, any and all colors, chic hats great for bad hair days, etc… I am in good health so far,lost two husbands to cancer, I swim a lot, play tennis, walk my dog, skip ice cream, raised on yogurt, have a lovely boyfriend, spent my life in a profession I loved, took new interests. Une femme d’un certain age, biensur, but not for me.

        1. Thanks for the clarification! As I’ve mentioned in several posts, I’ve also ditched the concept of “age appropriate” dressing. I believe we each should wear what feels like a true expression of ourselves.

          It feels as though you’re projecting some of your broader perceptions of cultural differences onto what I’ve written here. I try to avoid generalizing about vast swaths of any population. I think there are plenty of chic and not-so-chic people wherever one travels. Confidence is important, yes, and one of the reasons I write this blog is to try to help us all feel more confident with our style. If that doesn’t resonate with you that’s fine, and I’m sure there are plenty of other blogs out there that will. Or, perhaps with your unique perspective, you could write one yourself. 😉

          1. Well said, Sue. I don’t think our friend Daniella has read your blog (or at least does not follow you regularly.)

  16. Can’t wait to get at my own closet for my fall cull. Not feeling quite up to it yet, but hoping for next week. I love the feeling of satisfaction an organized closet brings.

  17. I’ve seen Pilate lessons online… not sure how successful those are as far as doing the positions correctly, but I’ve thought about checking into it. I have a trainer three days a week. Probably just need to stretch more.

    1. I’ve doing Pilates for several years and do private sessions. If you are interested in trying it out (I’m a huge fan) I’d suggest starting with private sessions for a while, until you are confident in performing the exercises and can maintain correct form. After that, it’s fine to switch to semi-private or group sessions which are less expensive. Online sessions would be good at that point as well, although it would still probably be a good idea to do an occasional private or semi-private just to check your technique.

  18. Susan…I absolutely adore your blog! Your fashion sense, of course, but also your honesty, your quick response to questions, your travel hints! I’m pretty traditional (Ralph Lauren/Talbots) and wear lots of navy and black. You’ve inspired me to be more adventuresome, while still staying in my comfort zone. (BS…”Before Susan”…I would try to branch out with pieces that were just too “out there” and not at all what I was comfy in!). Am traveling to Lyon and Provence in a couple of months and feel good about my wardrobe choices for this early fall trip. Merci bien!!

    1. Thanks so much, Joy! I’m so glad you enjoy the blog and find it helpful. Have a wonderful time on your trip!!

  19. Love your blog and your style. You have inspired me to do a little more self care for the rest of the month!

  20. Hello All: I also love your Blog, Susan and am grateful for everyone’s comments and hints. I have recently started going to a yoga class after being away for many years. I am the goofiest yogi (the correct term for a participant I am told). However, no one seems to care and I feel so much better even after a few classes. Yoga also makes you much more aware of posture–at least the instructor keeps talking about it, so I think about it more as I go through my day. Mostly I am not doing the poses as done by the instructor, but I am trying and yoga presents the unique proposition of helping with flexibility no matter how little flexibility we have initially. I had to find a class in the evening as I cannot get away at work and sadly missed this week because I was stuck at work…but I will keep going. August is an anticipatory month for me. It used to be back to school. Now I am hoping it is back to cool. We are roasting in San Diego which is very unusual for this area. Thank you again for an inspiring, friendly and thought provoking space. Mary F.

  21. Sorry about the tooth! I had an emergency extraction 2 days before a destination wedding a couple years ago! I am sick of our LA summer this year.. last year was lovely , didn’t heat up until fall.. our usual.
    Exercise walked around mall, nothing even tempting.. dregs of summer sales, blech mid season boring stuff everywhere… lived in orange rubber Birks all summer, yoga pants, linen Gap tunic /shirts & white jeans..
    Need to clean closet, can’t wait for fall & layers..

  22. Sorry about the tooth! I had an emergency extraction 2 days before a destination wedding a couple years ago! I am sick of our LA summer this year.. ..not our usual.
    Exercise walked around mall, nothing even tempting.. dregs of summer sales, blech mid season boring stuff everywhere… lived in orange rubber Birks all summer, yoga pants, linen Gap tunic /shirts & white jeans..
    Need to clean closet, can’t wait for fall & layers..

  23. I love Pilates also. When your done with one on one instruction, I assume you are on the reformer, check out places where they have small classes (up-to 5 peoplej, it’s more affordable and you still get some indivual attention.
    I agree with you about dresses, especially for summer. It’s difficult to find dresses to suit my figure and age. Light weight, good material, not short, no slits up to where ever, fair price (no cheap rags)covers some of your arms, no super low cut, yikes so much to consider. This is why I don’t have many dresses.
    Good luck with your tooth. It must be awful looking in the mirror and see it missing. Hang in there.

    1. I have had great luck at this website called eShakti. Their things is they do customized dresses based on some simple designs. While they have a LOT of poly-blends, I did managed to find two linen and one cotton dresses from them I’ve been wearing all summer. I don’t choose the “customize the sizing” option, but I always choose the option to pick the neckline, sleeve-length and hemline I prefer. It’s just a little extra but cheaper than a tailor. I’m in my 30s, but I like an elbow lengthed sleeve and a just-below-the-knee hemline and finding that in the stores is otherwise impossible. Not affiliated with them at all, just wanted to share because dress shopping can be so so hard! I’ve only had one dress turn out a bit iffy (zipper wasn’t smooth), but they accepted the return right away. Oh, also Boden has some nice dresses with sleeves! I like their wrap dresses there. 🙂

  24. Hi Susan: I love and enjoy your blog. I will be 80 in March and when I shop I look for clothes that fit me and don’t look dowdy and old fashioned or for a teenager- I retired years ago and somehow still buy as tho I was working – however I have managed to get a little more casual this summer – too hot here in Central NY to be dressed up. EF is my favorite label when it’s on sale! Thanks for your travel tips and your “good sense” of style and advice. Hope your tooth situation is healing.

  25. I’ll be interested to hear thoughts about “forever” wardrobe items.
    I find that at some point if I’ve worn something a lot that I get tired of it. That, combined with shifting styles and my own changing ideas about what’s flattering to me, leave me concluding that 2-4 years is the usual life of items in my wardrobe. Of course some things last longer – my ultra cold down coat, worn a week or two each winter, is more than 15 years old, but a good many other things don’t.

  26. Susan, Thank you for your blog. I look for YOUR post every morning! Beginning a good exercise routine is so good for you and somehow so hard to initiate. You inspire me. I would love to see a post on clothes for workouts. I don’t want to wear leggings–I’m hot during workouts. I live in Florida. I certainly don’t want a shirt top that exposes my midriff–ugh! Some long moisture wicking shorts would be nice. It would also be nice to have some sleeveless shirts/tank tops that don’t have armholes that expose half of my torso lol. To address the comments in spider veins- I have had my spider veins done multiple times, and am overdue for another treatment. They really do have a very significant positive impact but must be done in the Fall (because injection sites will be discolored for quite a while; pants will be needed. Sigh.

  27. I have discovered Pilates too & am really enjoying it. Found Robin Long & The Balanced Life by accident. She does excellent videos on line. Some free ones are on You Tube. I bet her attitude would resonate with you!

  28. Hello Susan, I love your blog. You seem in just the right place regarding your ego; confident, but questioning and exploring. Think we all know some women who walk everywhere, play tennis, swim, and have good teeth… I don’t own any dresses– they always seem too tight or wide–too many places to get a good fit on me–arms, bust, hips, etc. Do have some long skirts that I can wear with sandals or boots, and a long black lace skirt which has been worn to many weddings and dressy events with satin sandals or fabric boots.

  29. Ibuprofen is actually very good for that sort of wound as it is not just a pain reliever but an anti-inflammatory. I have to be careful not to take too much as I have a touch of osteoarthritis and it is so tempting to sooth pain, but as we know, too much of a good thing can have bad side-effects! Not a problem in your case.

    Speak French! You show your teeth far less.

  30. Susan, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your recommendation earlier in the summer regarding these Mephisto sandals. (I got the black too!). I have absolutely loved them for their comfort and style! Hope your tooth process is going well, thank you for sharing that too.

  31. Reformer Pilates has changed my life. I can’t afford private lessons, but after 8 months of group classes 2-3x per week, I’m amazed at the changed in my body. My arms and legs are strong plus more lean and my posture is dramatically better. I’ve found my lifelong exercise…at age 53….finally. Self care!!!

  32. Heh Susan, loving your blog which my friend Judy put me on to … travelling soon to Asia and Europe and doing my best to keep the wardrobe to a minimum using your tips and suggestions.
    Judy manages to travel five weeks with carryon luggage, I’m not there yet!
    Am taking my high heeled ugg boots as Budapest and Amsterdam are very cold in October .. I know, very bogan…. but no opportunity to wear them here! So making the most of the travelling in a cooler clime..
    Susan F
    Queensland, Australia