Back to normal, sort of…(sigh)
Ah, looks like our usual Indian Summer has arrived. I knew it was only a matter of time, but I did enjoy those few weeks of almost-sweater-and-scarf weather.
But our lives still aren’t quite back to normal. We just finished up the High Holidays, the first without my MIL, which was hard. We all gathered to break the Yom Kippur fast at her house as she’d wanted, and her absence was palpable. Her home was the family gathering place, where holidays were celebrated, and out of town family always had a place to stay. My BIL and his wife are mostly handling going through her things and clearing out the house to rent (at least until the real estate market picks back up) but they’re leaving at the end of the month to get back to their boat in Fiji, and need to have the place renter-ready before they leave. So we’ll be helping with that process as much as we’re able on weekends.
My MIL (and my FIL, before he passed away a few years ago) had collected so much nice furniture and household things over the years and it’s a shame, but most of it will probably have be sold or donated as none of the kids or other family have the space or lifestyle to keep much of it. Which has me thinking about my own family heirlooms and whether it makes sense to start divesting some of them, as there’s really no one to hand them down to.
And then last week our boss told us that we’d been tasked with a MegaProject, one of those year+ software development projects that’s Job 1 and Pedal to the Metal. So to say I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment is probably not an overstatement. I do plan to keep up blogging, even if there may be weeks where posting is sparse, as I love the process, the friends I’ve made, and the wonderful online conversations that result. Thanks in advance for your forbearance.
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Susan – Sounds like a lot, right now. I’ve been amazed at how much you accomplish. I’m going back to work in a week, I’ve been using you as a beacon to imagine how to blog and work full-time together.
Sue, that’s a lot on your plate, and you know your readers will understand very well your need to put family and work responsibilities ahead of blogging. It’s hard, though, isn’t it? As busy as life can be, I get antsy if I haven’t posted for a few days because I enjoy the interaction. The blogging is something I do for me and it takes discipline to turn away in favour of supposedly higher priorities.
But sometimes we just have to turn away, and you should know that while you do, we’ll be patiently understanding, waiting for those posts you can manage. Take care of yourself.
You sound like you are going to be incredibly busy. Getting a house ready and its contents dispersed is a full time job in itself. I’m sure your bil and sil will welcome any help you can give.
About heirlooms and possessions. Even though I will be only 60 (!) on my next birthday, this issue is already on my mind. We have three houses, all furnished with things I love and, for the most part, chose. Our grown children have their own tastes (as did we) and I doubt most of things will find a home with them. If they admire something, I try to give it to them if it’s reasonable to do that. In the meantime, we are paring down and recognizing that our “heirlooms” are for our own enjoyment during our own lives.
Our summers don’t even get that warm.
I’ve got a lot of work on just now too, I’m thinking three day week or chucking the whole blogging lark – I’m a terrible all or nothing type – must try to find the middle ground.
As we have no children, I too have already started to think “what will happen to all this?’
Our summers don’t even get that warm.
I’ve got a lot of work on just now too, I’m thinking three day week or chucking the whole blogging lark – I’m a terrible all or nothing type – must try to find the middle ground.
As we have no children, I too have already started to think “what will happen to all this?’
You are certainly facing a lot of tasks, the kind that have deadlines and consequences — so blogging may fall down the list? If so, we will miss your wonderful posts and look forward to the times you can do them. I am not Jewish but I understand a more joyous holiday is approaching this week — Sukkot — and I wish you a happy one.
It sounds like your plate is full right now.
I empathize with your situation and if I were closer I’d offer to help.
I remember dealing with my in laws home and all their possessions. It was an intense time where our lives were put on the back burner until the immediate task at hand had been completed.
I hope that you can find a sense of balance with all that is going on in your life right now.
Blogging is something that I do for fun, a hobby of sorts and it is time that I set aside just for me. I get up an hour early so that I can sip my tea, read blogs and prepare posts.
I am sure that I am not alone in wishing you all the best at this time.
Take care Susan,
Hostess
I remember the palpable sadness and sense of loss that permeated the first celebration of the high holy days after my MILs passing even though that was a decade ago now.
We’ve been facing the some of the same issues with finding homes for family heirlooms, both as we move my mom to a much smaller home and ourselves to a (not so) smaller place as well.
You have a lot on your plate, we all understand how life can intervene. Actually I am constantly amazed at all you manage to do. The posts you manage will be welcome, few or frequent as they may be.
Good luck with all the adjustments. Thanks for letting us know about posting; sometimes I wonder if I should let my followers know if I will be blogging. But I notice if my friends arent blogging I am wondering if they are ok..so thanks!
Sue, there are times when blogging must take a back seat…but it can also be therapeutic…so you just have to decide and do what is best for YOU. I have been blessed to partake of meals with Jewish friends, so I understand the sense of loss of a beloved family member at this time. Those celebrations are so special for the families. And getting rid of belongings sometimes is a slow walk through a field of memories. I understand and my prayers are with you.
I too, was enjoying the cool-ish fall-like S. CA weather, and am grouchy that it is back to that late heat we get…
Shana Tova–may this year be better than what came before. We lost a beloved relative this past year as well, and Yom Kippur was difficult.
But on the good news side, my daughter completed her 2.5 years of treatment for leukemia this Weds past, and G-d willing we’ll have the final bone marrow biopsy results tomorrow…
So many emotions crowd the surface at the High Holidays, and this one was no exception.
Take care and keep breathing.
The house clearing is such a difficult part of middle age.
Your dear mother in law was written into the book of life for the whole year (hope that’s not too ridiculous a comment to make–if so, sorry)…the holidays must have been so hard.
As you can see, we all understand, so please don’t worry. We’ll still be here.
It’s got to be so hard going through this transition with your MIL’s passing and I know how demanding software production schedules can be.
When it’s really hectic, how about re-posting some posts from the archives that might be of interest to newer readers?
Take good care of yourself, you’re worth it!
That is a lot of pressure to be under. I am sure you will find the emotional fortitude to get through it – you know you have a huge cheer squad here 🙂
I too was enjoying the cooler weather – and even the rain! I even put away some of my summery clothes. But as most of my wardrobe is “year round” it wasn’t very hard.
Neither my daughter nor daughter in law have the same taste as I do – actually I don’t have the same taste anymore! I moved a year ago and put most of my “stuff” in plastic crates. If I haven’t dug into them by spring – they are going.
Losing a family member is hard – my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Losses are acutely felt during the holidays! Your blog is always a must read!
Best of luck in getting through all of this. But between you having all of these obligations and Privilege going back to work, I’m going to go through a “woman of a certain age” blog withdrawal as your posts become less frequent.
i can so relate to the heirloom subject. we’ve been experiencing the same issues chez nous as my MIL had incredible objects and furniture, but not our style.
Prayers are with you…..do remember to take good care of yourself through it all.