Unfaithful - une femme d'un certain âge

Unfaithful

True confession: I cheated over the weekend, and with an ex to boot. I’m feeling terribly guilty and don’t know how I’ll keep it a secret. I suppose I could rationalize it: I mean my guy and I have had trouble connecting lately, and our busy schedules have made assignations almost impossible, the ex was there and availab–wait a minute, no, I haven’t committed adultery…I’m talking about hairdressers!!!

I know some women who find a good person, and stick with them forever. I’m a bit more fickle. Even the best hair stylists sometimes hit a slump with me, or I with them, and I need to shake things up a bit. What about you? Are you True Blue or do you Style Around?
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29 Comments

  1. July 14, 2008 / 12:56 pm

    I’ve been with my gal for a long time now, and don’t anticipate leaving. We have a great relationship, we can really talk about what we want, and we also have an understanding: if there’s ever someone that I can’t resist, I have permission to go with them, provided I come back and show her what we did. (This is true, actually. As a curly girl, I have a great desire to get my hair cut at a Ouidad salon. My stylist is cool with this, because she’s also curious about their method.)

  2. chicamericaine
    July 14, 2008 / 1:09 pm

    I almost was unfaithful recently — with myself! 😉 I truly love my stylist. She is a genie with both cut and color. But I hated my last haircut. I told her I wanted some more layers to reduce the weight of my hair during the summer months but I wanted to keep the length. BAD idea! The layers made my thick but very straight hair stick to my head. The length gave the whole thing a mullet effect. I traveled right after the cut, so I had to wait to go back and have her fix it. I almost took scissors to it myself. Thankfully, she was able to somehow magically give me my volume back.

    Happy Bastille Day!

    Karen

  3. July 14, 2008 / 2:38 pm

    Like stylespy and chicamericaine, I’m so lucky to have a stylist I trust and who I get along really well with. It’s like visiting a good friend and we always exchange our latest faves in movies and music. She’s a great colourist who gets my curls and knows when it’s time for me to try something different and when what I’ve got going on is working. In other hair relationships, I’ve ended up feeling I wasn’t getting seen anymore except as a “repeat head of hair,” but after ten years, I’m still not feeling that with Ronae and can’t imagine it happening. And luckily, she’s about 15 years younger than I am, has a 3-year old that she’ll have to work years to support, and just bought a big home with a big mortgage, so she won’t be retiring any time soon 😉

  4. July 14, 2008 / 3:50 pm

    I have an assignation with my ex at the end of the week. The problem was (is???) consistency. And he’s tres pricey. So I hopped around but no one was as good as Brian when he’s on. So one more chance.

    Style Spy: I have mega curl too. Beware of a technique called tunnel cutting, it looks good initially but you end up with weird vertical chunks (the tunnels) and they can’t keep doing it every time they cut (for obvious reasons). My hairdresser fixes lots of these cuts from a place famous for curls.

  5. July 14, 2008 / 5:03 pm

    it’s not so much that i’m unfaithful as it is i’ve a wandering eye — i’m serially monogamous… i’ll stick with a hair stylist for two or three years, three or 4 times a year faithfully… then comes the inevitable day when i’m bored by the cut, tired of the style and my eye is caught by the head of someone else. i ask a few questions, find out who this styling wizard is, then go a-courting. only to start the cycle all over again. the beginning is always great — you’re on a high, you babble about the person to all your friends, then… comes the inevitable downhill slide. *sigh* faithful to death is not in my nature. matter of fact, after two years, i find myself casting about for a new stylist again.

  6. July 14, 2008 / 6:44 pm

    Pseu: came back to ask if you’re happy with what your ex did for you — you don’t say in the post.

  7. July 14, 2008 / 8:36 pm

    I really like my current guy’s personality, but I’d forgotten that the ex does a razor cut that gives my normally baby fine hair a lot more texture. Both do great color, but I think the cut nailed it, and I’m going to go back to the ex.

  8. Anonymous
    July 14, 2008 / 8:57 pm

    Hilarious. I’m in a long term relationship for the foreseeable future – she understands what I’m asking for and respects my hair.

    That said, it took a while to break up with the last long timer. First attempt, I got a fat sweaty guy at a big salon who gave me hair all over my face. Yeah, great look! Second attempt, I got my current collaborator.

    The last longtimer did solid work, but her rates kept going up, the drive was LONG, and she started asking me – every time I arrived – in a high-pitched and whiny voice ‘WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN??????? WHAT’S WRONG, ARE YOU TOO BUSY?’ and that really cinched the deal. I ain’t payin’ for that!

  9. July 14, 2008 / 11:02 pm

    I’m back too to say a woman once remarked to me that after about 2 years a stylist goes blind. much like a kid goes parent-deaf.

    She thought you need a new pair of eyes on you. I have also learned you get what you pay for (duh).

  10. July 14, 2008 / 11:43 pm

    I’ve been with my guy for 15 years, I think!

  11. citizen spot
    July 15, 2008 / 3:58 am

    I guess I am the anomaly here, but when I decided, as a woman of a certain age, that my long hair was a pain in the arse, I went to the supercuts one block over, and they did ok. I was happy. I had a plethora of people cut my hair, some with scissors, clippers, razor. I really don’t care that much. But I got tired of them trying to sell me product, so I now opt for the small salon in the mini strip mall around the corner. Just as long as they cut it short in the back, and short enough in the front so it doesn’t get in my eyes when I go hiking in windy conditions, then I am good to go. Think of it as I let them train on me so that they may be better stylists later on. I don’t color or highlight, as I feel I have earned every damn gray hair I have. I happily embrace my inner and now more outward crone. Outward crone, that sounds like a yoga position, no?

  12. July 14, 2008 / 10:14 pm

    Miss J was very close to leaving her stylist of almost two years but gave her one more chance- she gives such Good Chair! She redeemed herself (or rather Miss J came to her senses). Miss J doesn’t usually style around. She’s not that kind of a girl.

  13. Je Ne Sais Quoi
    July 15, 2008 / 5:58 am

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Arabella
    July 15, 2008 / 1:21 pm

    I’ve got curly hair and I favour retro styling (sometimes 1930s, sometimes 1950s) so once I find a hairdresser who can deal with that little lot, I …stalk them with a camera and make it impossible for them to ever leave me….I jest – I stay as long as it works and I’m very fortunate at the moment.

  15. July 15, 2008 / 8:13 pm

    Girl, I’m getting the locks cut today from someone new. Sometimes it happens. I like to think of it as a new adventure!

  16. J.A.
    July 15, 2008 / 11:43 pm

    I’m giving mine one last chance.
    She doesn’t listen very well and has only given me one cut I loved in the last six months. While I tend to be loyal to a fault, I now have a new stylist waiting in the wings.

  17. July 16, 2008 / 12:30 am

    I’m with citizen spot. I know how my hair grows on my head and I know how it has to be cut to look good. If I could manouever my hands and a mirror, I would cut it myself. So when I was younger, I went to the local hair stylist school and let them do it for $3 a pop. Occasionally it was bad but hair grows. When my hair started growing grey, it didn’t look too bad and I didn’t want to get stuck dyeing it every 2 months so now I have nice salt and pepper hair. It has always been short. Once I had them cut it to about 5 cm all over because I was going on a bike camping holiday (dubious showers, etc.) and now I say “I’m not afraid of short” in case they hesitate. I also go to First Choice because I just get who is free next and then I don’t have to worry abut being loyal. It’s not that I’m not fussy but I am glad that my hair works this simply. For recent pix, you ca start here.

  18. July 16, 2008 / 12:35 am

    ACK! Typo! Typo! Sorry, it is “manoeuver” and “can”. My keyboard is sticky, and it is black and my lighting is bad and I don’t touch type.

  19. July 16, 2008 / 1:37 am

    anon – that’s horrible! You’re not paying to be harangued.

    miss janey – your hair is indeed again fierce.

    wendyb – 15 years?!? That’s a committment. But your hair looks great, so you’re obviously sticking with what works.

    spot – you got the thick hair in the family. :-p Yours looks good in just about any type of layer cut.

    arabella – I love retro! Are you able to get the look without a lot of time in rollers?

    stephanie h – come back and let us know how it worked out!

    ja – I’m a believer in letting go of what isn’t working. Loyalty only goes so far when I have to wear the results on my head. 😉

    Juliar – your hair looks great! I envy those women who get that wonderful salt-and-pepper grey. What you’re doing is working for you. My natural color now close to wet cardboard, and there’s not enough grey to rescue from dinginess.

  20. Arabella
    July 16, 2008 / 9:23 am

    Vintage hair – I use the cunning device of an extremely short and straight fringe (‘bangs’ to y’all) to offset a bob, and work with that. No curlers required – just the climate. Recently heard about a stylist in Austin who can do the short 50s styles without setting! Might have to try that!
    Btw, the combination of your hairdo and specs looks very fetching.

  21. July 16, 2008 / 12:45 pm

    Linda – I’m on the fence. I love the fabric and the styling, but because I’m such a short stack, the v-neck hits quite low. Very va-va-voom. But in the situations where I’d be wearing a dress, that might be OK.

  22. July 16, 2008 / 12:58 pm

    Try putting scarves in that neckline. I found it worked very well if you play around a bit. And tuck the ends in.

  23. July 16, 2008 / 2:04 pm

    The new hair stylist and cut turned out fantastic. I think I just got the best cut of my life! She really listened to me and the end result is a very chic shorter “do”. I love it.

  24. July 16, 2008 / 2:32 pm

    arabella – thank you! My new cut is even a bit shorter and also “vintage” (Jean Seberg circa 1962). 😉

    Linda – I’ll have to try that. Other than the décolletage, it’s a perfect black dress, once I get the skirt shortened by an inch or so.

    stephanie h – so glad to hear it! There’s nothing like a great haircut to boost confidence.

  25. July 16, 2008 / 4:46 pm

    It’s good around the waist and hips, I think. Karen Cole emailed me to say they have some lace dresses coming in which she described as ‘very forgiving.’ Lace is hot for Autumn, here.

  26. July 16, 2008 / 5:16 pm

    Forgiving it definitely is. 🙂 It skims rather than clings. Lace, huh? I’ll have to see those.

  27. Anonymous
    July 17, 2008 / 1:24 pm

    Stylespy, Ouidad did a great job on my son’s hair. He has red curly spiral that grow upwards and they managed to cut (and “soften”) the curls so they know grow down. It made him ecstatic (teenagers!) and made me even more envious of his hair.

    As for me, gah, my hair is fine, straight but very thick and it takes a long time to break in a hairdresser. I’m very loyal if I find a great hairdresser (my last hairdresser retired and moved to Italy), so after 12 years I’m on my own again. Anyone have any suggestions for a good stylist in NYC?

    Thanks!

  28. ed
    March 19, 2009 / 11:25 am

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