Thursday Miscellany: Fab Finds & Thoughts On Personal Style
It’s always nice to come home after a long trip, though it can take me several days to adjust time zones and feel fully functional. But I’m there, finally. Today I’m sharing some fab finds, and the mindset shift that helped me hone my personal style over 60.
If I were packing for Paris this summer…
I’d definitely include these pieces!
The last time I was in Paris during the summer, we experienced a canicule (extreme heat wave) that lasted several days. So I always assume that’s a possibility when I’m planning a summer travel wardrobe. During my visit a couple of weeks ago, I was able to get a preview of current Parisian summer style thanks to some unseasonably warm weather. I saw lots of light and breezy pieces similar to this cotton blouse and linen pants. And comfortable sandals, including Birkenstocks.
I purchased this Gerard Darel shirt in Paris, but the weather cooled down again before I had a chance to wear it. (And yes, it cost about 40% less in France than it does here.) It’s hard to go wrong with a vertical stripe shirt this season; here are a few options that are more budget-friendly:
Alex Mill | Madewell | Nordstrom | Caslon | J.Crew | Quince | Talbot’s | Lands’ End
The pants are new from Banana Republic, and I love them! They’re linen, and I think the side stripe adds a nice bit of structure and polish. Available in four colors in Regular, Petite, and Tall sizes, and run true-to-size. I find them comfortable and easy to style; you’ll be seeing these again. 😉
Thinking about: evolving personal style over 60
I believe that personal style can be powerful. It’s a way of showing up for ourselves and expressing who we are to the world. We all are unique individuals, with different likes, dislikes, and tastes. So no one style or trend will suit everyone, and that’s a good thing. (I often say that it would be a boring world if we all liked the same things.)
By that token, I know that not everyone will like everything I share, especially my own outfits. And that’s OK too. I try to use different visual tools like collages to illustrate styles and outfits that differ from my own. But I think it’s important that I stay true to myself when I share my outfits, and I hope it encourages you to stay true to yourself, whatever styles feel right for you.
When I started writing this blog in 2007, I was struggling with my own style, in part because I was trying to fit myself into what I thought was “age appropriate,” (read: Very Classic) but felt like I was wearing someone else’s clothes. I’d grown up with so many style rules that were hard to shake. It’s taken me some years, but I’ve managed to suss out and feel confident in my personal style, and have discovered that being over 60 (now 68) is freeing rather than limiting.
Opening my mind
Back in my 20’s, I used to attend Al-Anon meetings. (My mother abused alcohol; I now believe she was trying to self-medicate mental health issues.) But the biggest takeaway from attending those meetings and hearing other people’s stories was that we all have struggles and flaws. We all make mistakes and experience failures. We’re all on our own path. Accepting that in others allowed me to be kinder and more accepting of myself. And I think that shift toward acceptance rather than judgement can apply to expressions of style as well.
One of the boons of social media has been seeing how other women of all ages openly express their style. Even when what they’re wearing isn’t to my taste, it encourages me to wear what I like and what makes me feel authentic. If I don’t like their outfit, I just scroll on; I don’t stop to tell them what’s “wrong” or what they should wear instead. Picking apart or policing other women’s style and appearance is a tool of the patriarchy, and it’s beyond time to consign it to the trash heap. Plus, I believe that those who judge others harshly are often the most fearful of being judged themselves, and it’s difficult to express yourself through your style (and feel confident) when coming from a place of fear.
I’m not saying you have to like everything, but especially in these times I think it’s important to lift each other up rather than tear each other down. What we focus on and give energy to expands.
How has your approach to personal style shifted over time?
And another thing about social media…
Social media can be an amazing way to connect and build community. Many of my good friends now are women I met through blogging. But there are also a lot of unscrupulous people out there. A few years ago when I wrote an article on avoiding online scammers, it was in response to what my friend Brian was going through. Now his story is told in this documentary, “Hey Beautiful: Anatomy of a Romance Scam” on Hulu.
It’s really well done and worth a watch, especially if you know anyone who is or has been involved in online relationships.
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Thank you what a nice reminder. The yellow pants are great, I was hoping they would have a cool toned version with a stripe. I have always hoped to achieve balance in my clothes but this spring I have really leaned into the oversized look- generally not me.
“We’re all on our own path. Accepting that in others allowed me to be kinder and more accepting of myself.” So true! Many great thoughts here- wonderful post, thank you.
Thank you for leaving me a little wiser this morning, Susan. And, thank you for continuing to publish your blog. I imagine you receive regular “feedback” that is hurtful rather than helpful. Still, you go on and we benefit.
Your observations are timely for another reason. I recently had my colors typed. After many years of believing I was a cool toned fair skinned light “summer,” I learned I was actually a warm toned, fair skinned light “spring.”
So many people would line up to trade for this “problem.” Yet for days, I was discouraged. How could I have built a wardrobe and spent thousands of dollars on the wrong items? What now? Then my mother’s voice chimed in:
“What a silly thing to think about!There are people suffering and you’re worried about your clothes.”
It took me about a week to process this, and I’m still processing. Then I used a process learned in graduate school: reframing. Now I can break out of a color rut and try new things. I’ve enjoyed my clothes, some for years, and keep happy memories when wearing them. My donation bag for the church rummage sale just got more generous. There are billions of people created for this world, and I am not the one who arrived with a “no mistakes, ever” label.
So, the new road starts. I’ll be paying attention to your “spring” recommendations.
I love your style because it reflects your individuality. I agree that we need to encourage each other with kindness and respect. Thank you for sharing parts of your life with us.
“Picking apart or policing other women’s style and appearance is a tool of the patriarchy, and it’s beyond time to consign it to the trash heap”
Couldn’t agree more!
Scroll on indeed.
Absolutely luv the direction of your blog Susan.
Thank you!
I so love your POV! I also happen to love your style, and some side stripe track pants are en route, heh. It has taken me years to understand how so much of how we present ourselves to the world relates back to patriarchy. There is a difference between something being conventionally “flattering” versus expressing your self with style that is empowering to you and makes you feel great I admire Gen Z. They wear what they want and don’t care if they don’t look tall and skinny, whereas at that age I would have never worn leggings and a crop top to the gym. It’s hard to break free if that, but we can. I also don’t get the negativity. Like you say, if you don’t like something scroll on! Keep up the great work! Bisous!
Good morning, Susan. Love your feature outfit today! I agree that the second half of life is freeing and we can be our unique selves now more than ever before. I dress every day to say that I am polished, creative, approachable, joyful and current. That is Pamela-style…and it feels so good to know who I am and what I want to say. I will check out Brian’s documentary.
So true, we all have histories that make us who we are today. Not everything works for everyone. Social media has made it easier to criticize others without filtering what we say, often with no feedback nor consequences. Our society has been a strong force of pressuring women into certain roles and telling us through fashion and how we look that not only are we are not good enough, we will only be good enough if we look and behave a certain way but, the reality is it’s never achievable.
Hello- how did you like your new spinner suitcase on your native trip? I’m interested in your review.
Hi Sharon, I’ll be writing up a review soon, but the short version is that I liked it!
Susan, I love your postings and look forward to reading them. I have received a lot of inspiration from you in dressing and in attitude.
Thank you for all the work you do to bring us so many incredible options. Your generosity is much appreciated.
Hi Susan, When i saw those BR pants I immediately clicked on the link but, unfortunately, as usual, they are already sold out in my size, PM. Will check back to see if they’ve been returned or restocked. When will clothing companies learnthat we short gals are still out here.
Love your style even though I won’t wear your choices. You introduce me to other things. Love that!
I’m in Paris !
Good for you! I too have found it very freeing to wear what works for me. For instance, at 5’3″, my love for wide-legged pants has attracted many second “evaluative” glances from people in my world – partially b/c I began wearing them before they became common in the US. However, your main point was supporting each other and not criticizing others for making different choices in clothing (while shouting about being our authentic selves and wearing “Be Kind” t-shirts (ha). Yes. Honestly, the color system you represent really helped me in that journey. It isn’t just about colors, but also addresses personal style. Knowing what works for me helps me resist buying what’s au courant but not really for me. Your decision to wear what you love should encourage your readers! It does me. Finally I would differ on one aside in your thought process – the patriarchy isn’t responsible for age-old competitive, unsupportive attitudes among women about clothing. We are each responsible for what we say and the attitudes we reflect to others.
Wonderful inspirational post Susan. I share your sentiment on acceptance vs. judgement (in most things).
I loved this post. Yours was one of the first blogs I found when trying to figure out how to style myself after retiring.
I’m just a little older than you, but I’ve found aging incredibly liberating, style wise. While my style isn’t yours, my philosophy is similar. I do not believe in “age appropriate.” I have purchased items you’ve shown on your blog, as welI as shopping at stores that target somewhat younger people.
I feel more my self, now. And interestingly, my 90 year old mother told ME just recently that I should where what I like, that there isn’t such a thing as age appropriate.
Thank you Susan. I agree with everything you say. I love your blog and always take time to read it. I don’t always love your outfits (the stripe on those trousers for example :D), but that’s because we are different people with different tastes. As you said if we all liked the same things, it would be a very boring world.
PS the shirt is delectable!
I’ve got some years on you and I’m still learning these lessons. Sometimes I struggle with trend/updated fashion and what I like. I’m still trying to say to myself – wear what looks best on me. Also, I think I can finally say, “that’s nice on her but it wouldn’t look good on me”. I grew up with some of those rules too. Also, in those years we wore what we had or what we could afford. It’s fun to see what you wear and where your travel adventures take you.
Me too Marilyn 😉
I have always loved sequins but feared wearing them because they draw attention to the wearer. But I am 85 now and ask Rabbi Hillel’s question…tho this is a frivolous use of the issue…”if not now, when?” Time to dress for the sheer fun of it!
Susan what a great posting today! I love what you say here. The more I’m frantically trying to find the ‘perfect’ clothes for my trip to Paris and the Greek Islands, the more scattered I have gotten. Yesterday I read an article that said: make sure you take clothes that make you feel like yourself–that you’re truly comfortable in. What I feel comfortable in is what I grew up wearing: tee shirts and jeans! You and Annie have helped me understand much more about clothing–styles that suit our personalities, faces and body types. Having my colors done by Annie was a game-changer. Interestingly, despite being a Vivid Autumn, I feel most comfortable in muted ‘natural’ colors–olive, soft browns, ivory. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and your heart with us. BTW I ordered those sateen pants in a small and they ARE long (!). I have to try them on again to see if I want to try a smaller size. Would you wear those to Paris–to dinner maybe? Or might I be too warm in that sateen material? Again, many thanks and welcome home!
I am glad to see you address the rude person who just had to tell you she didn’t like any of your outfits.
I loved your reply.
Scrolling by without a nasty comment is simple.
I have been following you for years on Facebook and Instagram and have learned a lot.
Thank you.
Bravo! Enjoyed your insight and outfits.
Love this post Susan. In particular, I appreciate your comments about how we can show up and express ourselves through our individual style. I’ve embraced this approach wholeheartedly.
Well said!
Such a great article today Susan! Being in my 70s has just been so freeing (other than the aching knees). Sometimes I want to stand out and sometimes I want to blend in. I’ve learned no one cares but me. I live in a very eclectic community where torn tee shirts, jammie pants and rubber boots are not uncommon. Would I wear that? Of course not. But I admire that these women feel comfortable with their style.
Excellent post, Susan! I especially love the window sign!
Thank you, Susan. What a great column – I couldn’t agree more.
For whatever reason, social media can be such a toxic space, giving permission to make hurtful and negative comments that one would never say to someone in person.
Turns out the old advice from kindergarten couldn’t be more helpful “If you can’t say something nice, choose to say nothing at all!”
Love your new outfit. It looks easy but polished.
Greetje
Thanks, Greetje! I really like these pants especially.
I thought that was you in the documentary!! I hope Brian is doing well after all he has gone through. It’s crazy how your image can be manipulated like that and there aren’t any consequences.
I am 1.5 episodes into Brian’s Hulu documentary. Wow – shocking, but a great reminder for anyone on social media. I’m looking forward to finishing the series. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.
Great column, thank you!
Thought provoking post today. I think I may have been guilty of criticizing someone’s online outfit, but I try to put it in terms of my own tastes. “I would not wear xyz, but you wear what you like.” There is a current fashion trend that bothers me no end, so I’m just scrolling by now. That trend will go away eventually.
Love the pants.
Well written, thoughtful post…..and you are SO right.
Thx!
Wonderful, thoughtful, post – thank you!
Bravo..love this!!
This is the time of year for me to set style aside and don my floppy hat, gloves and play clothes. While I was out in the garden, it occurred to me that we’re all like flowers. Each one is different but they make a beautiful picture together. A tulip isn’t a daffodil and a crocus isn’t a hyacinth and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 😉
Great post today Susan. Totally agree!
So well said, Susan!
I think there is so much truth in your statement that “those who judge others harshly are often the most fearful of being judged themselves.” Ever notice that the harshest critics love to gather and share gossip, yet zealously shield their own vulnerabilities from scrutiny?
Especially during this moment in time (but in all others, too) we need to support one another and champion kindness.
Great post in so many ways. In my 60’s and feeling great….it’s been a learning curve to transition professional working attire to retired attire and still wanting to look great (took me a while and some shopping mistakes to be true to myself).
I think your blog was referenced in another blog and even though I’m a “tall” and “spring” for now/will that change with age? I love that you can click and find size and maybe another color option that works for me (love what you show). Thanks and have a great summer ahead.
I’ve found with age that the more I don’t care what others think of me, the less judgmental I have become. It is so freeing to feel that way. I think it helps me to focus on what lies beneath the ‘window dressing’ at the real person.
Great post!!
Susan, thanks for this. FWIW, I always find your perspective enlightening. You are the one who introduced me to the new colour seasons and types via Red Leopard and Castanohel, among many other insights. I have watched and rewatched your interview with Annie.
All this despite the fact that your figure, color season, and style persona are very different from mine. I can’t think of a single outfit we might have in common.
Keep shining, star!
Great post & thoughts today- thank you
Hi Susan!
Your commentary here is spot on, and why I love reading your blog. I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for sharing your thoughtful insights and cool clothes with us.