Traveling Lighter In The New Year

all aboard…

Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face

When the 2016 Express pulls out of the station at midnight, I’ll be on it but plan on leaving some baggage behind on the platform…

Comparison. There will always be someone who is further along in their journey, who may have more resources or a better set of numbers in the gene pool lottery or more talent or more discipline. The truth is we can almost never know the entirety of someone else’s joys and struggles. It’s fine to admire and be inspired, but no one else is the standard by which we should measure ourselves.

Letting others’ opinions drown out my inner voice, or sow self-doubt. I like to keep an open mind, but not at the expense of ignoring my gut. Even expert opinions can be subjective. If the thing everyone is crazy about doesn’t feel right to me, I need to trust and go with that. Likewise, I don’t need to take on someone else’s priorities for how to spend time, money, and attention as my own.

Fear Of Missing Out. It’s a big, wide world out there, and it’s impossible to seize every opportunity that rolls through. If it’s going to require contortions of my schedule, finances, or on the part of my family, then I’ll step back, let this one go by and perhaps catch the next one. Decisions and choices made from a place of fear rarely yield the best outcomes.

Trying to please everyone. Who me? Sometimes, yeah. Being authentic becomes more and more important to me as time goes on, which will undoubtedly raise an eyebrow or two along the way. I’ve never been sorry in those instances where I’ve placed my integrity over someone else’s wishes. Those who matter get over it, and those who can’t get over it won’t matter.

Regret. What’s done is done. Fix it if I can, or move on and try to do better next time.

What baggage are you hoping to leave on the platform?

Happy New Year!!

Image via Pinterest.

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59 Comments

  1. LT
    December 31, 2015 / 3:14 am

    Such a creative posting and something I need to ponder. Thank you. Happy New Year and thank you for your blog. Your travel posts and outfits ideas are awesome. Cheers!

  2. December 31, 2015 / 3:44 am

    That is excellent baggage to leave behind. I have the same baggage collection, and I’m going to leave those bags with yours on the platform. Happy New Year to you and yours, and I’m looking forward to more of your fascinating posts, musings, discoveries, and ideas in 2016! Thank you for all the time and energy you dedicate to your blog–it’s my must-read.

  3. December 31, 2015 / 3:56 am

    It is always good to leave fear behind! Happy New Year…may it be filled with joy, special moments, surprises, and success!

  4. December 31, 2015 / 4:09 am

    Well said. I agree with it all and am working on the regret one. Wishing you and your family a very HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS 2016.

  5. Jeanne
    December 31, 2015 / 4:15 am

    Great post! Happy New Year to you too!

  6. Diane F
    December 31, 2015 / 4:39 am

    Thank you for your timely post – in addition to planning what I will do in 2016, I am adding your baggage list to the “don’ts”. I might add to focus on the positives and ignore the slights.

    Your blog is fabulous.

    Happy New Year!

  7. Jill
    December 31, 2015 / 4:40 am

    I’m on that very same page. Wisdom fine tuning, is what I call it, when I stop and think before I do or speak. The Happiest of New Years to you and yours!

  8. December 31, 2015 / 4:54 am

    Great post. Just sent your link to two of my friends. Have a wonderful, happy, healthy new year.

  9. Letisha
    December 31, 2015 / 4:59 am

    Love this! As a reformed People Pleaser I too have a small carry on to leave that the station!

  10. December 31, 2015 / 5:01 am

    All great bags to leave on the platform, and I especially will be leaving the “trying to please everyone” in some trash bin. Thanks for such a thoughtful post and a very Happy New Year to you and your family.

  11. December 31, 2015 / 5:21 am

    I would like to leave comparison and regret behind. Happy New Year and thank you for your posts of 2015!

  12. Ellen Gloudie
    December 31, 2015 / 5:39 am

    Thank you for your wise words, Pseu. I totally agree with you! Best wishes for you en your family from Brussels! xxx Ellen

  13. sandypatti
    December 31, 2015 / 5:58 am

    Brilliant. Excellent habits to leave at the station! Happiest new year to you and your loved ones. xox

    -Patti
    http://notdeadyetstyle.com

  14. December 31, 2015 / 6:19 am

    I agree I will add old disputes …. Christmas brought me a reconciliation will an 83 yr old uncle I had fallen out with. ..best gift and learning. ..people are what matters.

  15. December 31, 2015 / 6:21 am

    I AM keeping your exquisite blog and thank you for it

  16. December 31, 2015 / 6:27 am

    You continue to excel at packing advice…Bon Voyage! Happy New Year!
    Btw, I got a spam email from pseub with the subject line Hello Frances (email address ended something like broadbendDOTnet)–a convincing enough Subject line that I opened the message. Had one of these strange emails purporting to be from one of my daughters recently, Subject line Hello Mom, similarly using an email address not hers but incorporating her name. Each time, a link to click on–no, I didn’t!). Seems an evolution of the old virus/worm and probably worth spreading the word about. Curious to know if others have experienced the same.

    • une femme
      December 31, 2015 / 6:55 am

      Thanks, Frances. The email thing happened once before a few years back, and according to my tech-savvy cousin, it’s the result of something called a “proxy” hack or attack at the email provider level, not from my computer. Smart you not to open the link!!

  17. Margaret Hess
    December 31, 2015 / 6:48 am

    I so needed to be reminded of every one of those points! Thank you.

  18. susanburpee
    December 31, 2015 / 7:26 am

    Love this post. And Frances’ comment. You DO excel at packing advice. A big issue this year for Hubby and me is that “missing out” thing…as we navigate through the retirement that is NOT turning out as planned. I’m going to be packing that one and hopefully leaving it on the platform. The others..ditto. And once left behind, I’ll hopefully not going to the “left luggage” to find them again come spring:) Oh… I have really overused your lovely metaphor. Sorry, Sue. Happy New Year to you and your family.

  19. Pink Azalea
    December 31, 2015 / 7:47 am

    I’m “on board” Thanks for your blog. I’m a regular reader and I appreciate your thoughts and ideas. Yesterday I was shopping for lipstick and jeans, just looking. I passed a woman with a large purple growth on one side of her face. It was a reminder to me to look for the beauty in others and as much as possible, set aside the externals. I have a background in design where there is a need to look critically as part of the process. This is OK for interiors and clothes, but love people as they are. Happy New Year to you and all your readers!

  20. AutrementRiche
    December 31, 2015 / 8:17 am

    Telle sagesse! Excess baggage and the “fees” that often go with them… debilitating anger & resentment.
    Thank you for your thoughtful posts. Here’s to a new year full of joy and delight!

  21. Lori
    December 31, 2015 / 8:21 am

    I will probably take all my baggage with me, but I am hoping to toss some of it out the window as I travel along this year!

  22. December 31, 2015 / 8:29 am

    Thank you for your timely words. As a woman also of an uncertain age – I have spent a lot of my life trying to perfect my self-perceived shortcomings. I realized a long time ago that we are our own worst critiques. Even though some healthy self-review is appropriate, in 2016 I will be giving myself permission to just live and love as fully as possible, in particular loving myself – I’m very good at loving others. Best wishes for a loving and prosperous 2016!

  23. Nanci
    December 31, 2015 / 8:50 am

    So well said. Many thanks to you for getting it out there.

  24. December 31, 2015 / 8:53 am

    This is a wonderful list. I’m going to add being crippled by dread to the list. “Self Shackled” might be a better term. Thank you for your thoughts.

  25. Leslie K
    December 31, 2015 / 9:53 am

    What a great thought-provoking post, thank you! I love the idea of moving forward into the new year by leaving dead-weight baggage behind. For me, though, I ALSO want to procrastinate less and be more aware of the present.

  26. Julie Varee
    December 31, 2015 / 9:56 am

    This is a great question with which to start a new year. My answers are: Fear of failure at work (unjustified, and failure’s not an unqualified negative), Use of over-eating and un-budgeted shopping to comfort/nurture myself (speaks for itself), and resentment re: what I don’t have/can’t do right now (instead of developing plans with clear action steps).
    Thanks for posing the question! Happy New Year!

  27. December 31, 2015 / 10:11 am

    Oh, I do love how you travel light! Carry-on is best. Security will freak out at all the unattended baggage left at the station when I pull out. Fantastic advice. I loooove that photo!

  28. December 31, 2015 / 10:22 am

    Such wisdom. All great things to leave behind. Regret is something I’m working on. Bonne Année! Happy New Year!

  29. December 31, 2015 / 10:35 am

    I’m already aboard your train! I’m also leaving 23 other things on the platform. Have a very Happy New Year. It’s going to be a great 2016!!

  30. Maria
    December 31, 2015 / 12:07 pm

    Lovely list, spot on! Happy New Year to you and yours!

  31. Rebecca
    December 31, 2015 / 12:24 pm

    Thank you for the post. The part about comparison really hit home with me. I always get frustrated with why can’t I look like her. Genetics is a hard one to get past. I just wish more fashion blog posters would keep that in mind. Thank you for reminding me.

  32. Nicole
    December 31, 2015 / 1:44 pm

    Wonderful question to ponder. As I have deliberately released bits of the baggage, even if just to set it down, one item at a time, I finally find the space to now be “open to receive” (a phrase, incredibly, recited by my father for years as he described aspects of his carpentry work with a team of other carpenters and their individual roles in the process. I wonder if he knew how profound his wise words were. Thanks, Pa). Once we empty out the old, it is time for the new and consciously making room is a muscle to exercise. I read a little quote by Amelia Earhart with the paper tigers reference being my favorite part but heck, I’ll include it in its entirety. “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

    In an age of a constant media deluge of how life could be I feel it’s ever more important to remember self love and appreciate where we are at any precise moment and find the beauty in that. Then we choose. I choose love. Thank you for your provocative words and sharing intimately with us. Yours is more than a fashion blog. 🙂

  33. Hiluhilu
    December 31, 2015 / 1:57 pm

    Thanks for this post and for the wisdom and grace you bring to your blog. Happy 2016!

  34. Marguerite
    December 31, 2015 / 2:31 pm

    I love the photo you posted. I have a matching “set” of baggage! I’m sure we all feel like at this age, we should have it all going on by now. Perfection is the enemy of good enough, they say. I’m going to stay mindful of that. Happy New Year!

  35. Maryann
    December 31, 2015 / 2:35 pm

    Thank you for a wonderful, thought provoking post. 2015 has been my year of hell but it has taught me a lot. I had major surgery for overian cancer, I am now in remission. I was also made redundant. It was a reminder, life is short, just live the best version of your life.

    • December 31, 2015 / 3:16 pm

      Wish you an especially nice year

  36. December 31, 2015 / 4:03 pm

    Funny you should mention these things. This is what I posted on my blog today.

    Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness
    on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

    I think this will be my word and my personal goal for the new year.

    But not just for my own body.

    I will strive to be mindful of other people and their state of being.

    Chronic pain may have my body, but it does not have my soul.

    Disease might steal away at my vision, but not my heart.

    Age may begin to make me slow down,
    but my passion for life will just increase.

    I have so much I want to achieve this year.

    I say this every new year and I never accomplish all that
    I set out to do and see and feel.

    But I try mightily, and therein lies the satisfaction.

  37. LauraH
    December 31, 2015 / 7:16 pm

    Funny how several of your pieces of baggage resonated with me. It can be hard work to change some of those old habits and ways of responding. Thanks for the timely reminder. Happy New Year!

  38. Lisa
    December 31, 2015 / 8:01 pm

    I’m leaving behind, regret, shame and other people’s opinions over my choices. Whew! It’s not easy but it’s time. Happy New Year!

  39. Lynn
    December 31, 2015 / 8:38 pm

    Thank you and this is what I need to hear for tonight and every day of the new year.

  40. December 31, 2015 / 10:04 pm

    I’m leaving behind my insistence on being my own harshest critic, someone else can do that.

    Happy New Year Susan, thank you for your always delicious blog.

  41. December 31, 2015 / 10:06 pm

    I got such a giggle when my comment appeared, it went back to last year even though it’s 5pm in next year here. 🙂

  42. Mary
    January 1, 2016 / 3:26 am

    Thank you!

  43. January 1, 2016 / 6:04 am

    Ps. If you leave baggage, that may unsettle people around you…be prepared for some unexpected reactions!

  44. Murphy
    January 1, 2016 / 7:36 am

    Wonderful post! Happy new year ro you & your family!

  45. sarah ross
    January 1, 2016 / 8:01 am

    Thank you for that inspiring list! There’s one more dictum that works well for me: never trust what you’re thinking when you first wake up. On bad days, as I climb up into consciousness, a persistent, unattractive little gremlin often trots out my worries “du jour.” First I borrow a bit from meditation practice: let him play himself out. Then I show him the metaphorical door. There’s whining and kicking on his part, but it works!

  46. Kristina
    January 1, 2016 / 8:08 am

    Thank you for a very thoughtful post. I have left my bags of pessimism and negativity on the platform.
    P.S. I am so glad that I found your wonderful blog in 2015. Best wishes to you and your family for 2016!

  47. January 1, 2016 / 9:40 am

    Love your list and will try to refer back to it. I’m going to try and stay in the “NOW.” Happy and healthy New Year to you and yours. Hope we get a chance to spend more time together!

  48. Mary Lou Hartman
    January 1, 2016 / 11:31 am

    Thank you for your thought provoking post. I always enjoy your wonderful blog. I hope 2016 is wonderful for you and your family.

  49. January 1, 2016 / 11:59 am

    Fabulous post! And a very happy new year to you.

  50. Hélène
    January 1, 2016 / 6:27 pm

    Thank you for the wonderful, thought-provoking post. It’s given me a new way to look at New Year’s resolutions. \imagine how much better people would feel if we could all lighten our luggage this way. Wishing you and my fellow readers the best of everything in 2016.

  51. January 2, 2016 / 5:26 am

    What wonderful words. They truly resonated with me, as I have just left Paris and France to return to Seattle. It has been my great pleasure to follow your blog in 2015, and I will be looking forward to more informative posts in 2016. Merci et bonne année 2016! Véronique (aka French Girl in Seattle)

  52. stinedurfdl
    January 2, 2016 / 6:39 am

    So well said and an excellent list. I’m guilty of avoiding confrontation at all costs. I prefer to avoid conversations that involve anything messy or difficult…and I so need to stop that. I’ve gained so much confidence and wisdom with age, but in that area I’m still very much like an 18 year old.
    Debbie
    http://www.fashionfairydust.com

  53. Laurie S in TN
    January 2, 2016 / 7:54 am

    Very wise, very wise. Thank you for sharing! I think I may incorporate these into my new year, as well!

  54. elizabeth
    January 2, 2016 / 11:19 am

    Amen to everything on this wonderful post. God bless you this New Year!

  55. January 2, 2016 / 3:31 pm

    About new habits . I just downloaded a GRATITUDE JOURNAL app for free . Seems a good way to cultivate the habit! Have you tried?

  56. Marn
    January 2, 2016 / 5:34 pm

    Sage advice. Thank you for sharing and doing what you do.

  57. January 3, 2016 / 5:41 am

    I agree with everything. Your points are profound and the way you have written it, is gold. You are a poet and a writer.
    Greetje

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