Outdated Operating Systems
I’ve posted often in the past about the myriad style rules I grew up with, and how I’ve slowly let go of most of them. While these rules were by no means universal for the time, they were delivered to us as if from stone tablets, all in the interest of Looking Like A Lady. Wearing white after Labor Day, mixing patterns, patent leather shoes with a casual outfit, sparkly for daytime, tops longer than jackets….that mid-cenury list of fashion venal sins no longer holds me hostage. The beauty catechism went something like this: no “garish” cosmetics (including bright eye shadow or blush, red nail polish, red lipstick except for dressy evening events), no “stringy” hair and no shiny noses.
It’s that last one that I still have trouble letting go of. Even as my overall facial oiliness has receded with age, my nose remains the gleaming holdout. I’m never without my blotting papers, or even a powder compact. I’m less enamored over time with the look of a powdered schnozz, and I wonder if I’m clinging to a relic. In these days of desiring a “glowing” complexion at a certain age, is a nose with a bit of shine just part of the package?
Do you still fight with a shiny nose? Do you have other beauty bugaboos that may be holdouts from a bygone era?
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I like the dewy look 😉
I don’t like the powdered look although maybe I just don’t know how to apply it skillfully. I think powder and too much foundation looks ‘mask-like’ on me.
I like that you’re breaking the rules!
Sally, Santa Rosa, CA
Sometimes I wish we still had the rules. I think I just like structure and order in my life. There are times I go somewhere and it’s like everyone else got the memo on the dress code but me.
To answer your question on face shine. Try the MAC Fix+ spray. It seems to dewy the parts that look dry and tame the shiny bits. I started using the product a few months ago and love it for my 55+ face. Nuts4dogs
Agree, Nuts4dogs–I often feel I missed the memo, too!
I have been gleaning so many terrific tips from your site and I love that you celebrate the fab-you-lous 50’s with such style and honesty! Headed to Paros for our first trip ever April-May and so grateful all I have learned from your site! Thanks!!
….and beauty blotters… They are a keeper!!
Cheers,
Susie
Brings back memories – sounds just like all the things my Southern Belle mother used to tell me. Very hard to let go of some after being drilled-in all those years. I love having a bit of shine down the nose and on the tip. In fact, I apply luminizer there (even though I have a slightly oily T zone.)
I still can’t bring myself to wear white after Labor Day – sigh – I’d love to get over that one…..
I still use powder or the Nars illuminator that you suggested, thank you very much! I am very careful with it as I want to be fresh and dewey…not dry and powdery.
I still struggle with slips…not wearing them…wearing them…there just are some dresses that are too see-through for me to feel comfortable without something light underneath. My favorite “slip” in the summer is a “split slip”….or “culotte slip” or “pettipants”….whatever you call them, they are not sexy but are comfortable and meet my need. But very old fashioned!
Oh, I wouldn’t consider slips old-fashioned. They help clothing lay better, and if you peruse the more upscale lingerie shops, there are plenty of slips being shown (of course, 20-somethings wear them as dresses, but, well, common sense isn’t rife with some folks). A slip with a built-in garter, though, THAT can go in the dustbin. As for shiny noses, I’m in agreement that it is a much better look than the powdered face, especially for those of us over the age of 30. It’s too aging.
I’m still a slip wearer too. Haven’t tried those split ones, but regular slips just make dresses and skirts hang better.
Love slips and “pettipants,” too.
Agreed–it’s very hard not to associate a shiny nose with a makeup fail. Shrug. Decades of oily skin take their toll on one’s psyche, I guess. Even if I start the day with a matte face it “dews” up within hours so I guess that’s good enough.
I think I’ve given up on the shiny nose; it will be my make-up doom. Like Larissa, I am still fond of slips.
I got a whole new perspective on the white-after-Labor Day rule when I mentioned it in conversation to a couple of 30-somethings and they just laughed and laughed at how silly they thought it sounded. It showed me how conditioned I was and I immediately dropped the “rule.” (One look on Pinterest will show that wardrobe white in winter is alive and well!). If there are any rules at all, I think they should be dress to look and feel your best.
“No more than three pieces of jewelry at any time”
I think that rule came about when sets were sold with a pair of earrings, a bracelet and necklace all matching….presented in a lovely leather box lined in velvet. I don’t go in for anything matching, including jackets and skirts or a pantsuit….I am a fan of slips and lust after pure silk ones.
I like a dewy face over a powdered one….have you tried not putting moisturizer on your nose just a wee bit of foundation?
I miss the “dressing up” when you went to a cocktail party and cocktail attire meant something else, which never included denim. I am happy for change and realize that society is more casual and like the advancement of denim, maybe even in the workplace and realize NYC and LA etc. are more excepting of it everywhere at anytime or place but I miss a bit of the formality here and there.
As for beauty I love red lips and the new vermillion lipsticks its fun and youthful without being garish. My nose doesn’t get shiny but a little red…still working on solving that with out looking like a powder ghost.
I have a normal skin type and love a bit of a natural shine.
One “rule” I still cannot ignore is “no tights with open shoes” – for me it is either/or. I don’t feel comfortable with tights and sandals.
Annette | Lady of Style
We never had stated rules. We were expected to absorb an attitude I am not sure I would ever be able to throw if off, I’m still trying to ferret out all its impacts:). But noses were allowed to shine. Of that I am sure:).
Ordinary tissues work as well as the special powder leaves , I found ,. But now I tend not to check myself in the mirror during the day once I’ve done the makeup – perhaps itself a sign of age & thus different priorities ? Remembering back to when I first came to live in England permanently ( ’60-’61 ) the rules were different from the US ones you mention, in fact since the books I was bemusedly reading were from the ’50s some were positively Victorian ! Eg not just bright colours but any makeup except powder was tarty , no perfume only lavender water , no jewellery except engagement & wedding rings – all unless going out in the evening . Since I am Eurasian I was used to wearing gold jewellery & my mother’s perfume as a child and looked forward to makeup ( and high heels ! ) at some unspecified teenage date in the future . By then all rules had been thrown out anyway . Is this no white thing just for the US ? When have there not been white wool coats ?
I was here in England in 60 -61 and I don’t recognise those rules. Everyone of my mother’s generation used powder and lipstick and people loved bright colours after the austerity of the war and rationing that continued well into the 1950s. I also remember my family members loving perfume and there was a lot of costume jewellery, I still have some of my mothers.
I wonder who the books you read were aimed at, an interesting piece of information.
I have to admit that I still like wearing panty hose. I can’t stand the feeling of bare feet in closed-toe dress shoes. (Can’t you just hear the “schlik, schlik, schik” of sticky feet when you walk in dress shoes like that?) The insoles last so much longer when your feet are in hose.
I agree with you, Debbie. I hate putting bare feet into closed-toe shoes! And those stupid little footie things always show, no matter how carefully I put them on. I’ve given up and just wear hose, even if it’s not “in style.”
Those footie things are truly awful. I have found that simply cutting an old sock up so that I can line the insole of the shoe with the sole of the sock works very, very well when I don’t want or need to wear hose. Not so much for sandals, but that’s another issue.
At 61, my nose still shines away, too. And my pores still become more obvious as the day wears long. To me, that doesn’t look “modern,” just gross. MAC Blot Powder is always in my bag. Like Debbie above, I also don’t like the feel of bare feet (or the look of bare legs) for dressy times. I don’t wear sheer pantyhose, but always tights, in varying degrees of opaqueness.
Sometimes the rules make sense to me. I guess I appreciate the freedom to discard the ones I don’t like, and keep the ones I do. Growing up in Michigan, the no-white rule made sense to me. White pants or shoes look silly in the snow! Now that I’ve been in TX for many years, I’ve relaxed the rule; for me it’s more like October until Easter is the no-white zone. Creamy whites are good any time!
Had lunch recently with a group of 40-50 year old women, and the pantyhose question came up. Most of us no longer work in offices, but we all questioned our husbands. Consensus is, nobody wears pantyhose at offices any more. I’m still not sure I can agree with that one; it looks unprofessional to me. I guess I’d wear pants to work!
Luckily, I don’t have a shine problem. But I am saddled with lots of rules handed down by my mother. Chief among them are: (1) dressing up for traveling. I still cannot stand to see people traveling in sweat suits, pj bottoms, gym-type clothes, flip flops. (2) linen before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. (I never wear white bottoms or shoes, so that prohibition doesn’t affect me.) (3) covered legs for business or dress. I just can’t wear a nice dress without hose. I can’t imagine ever getting over that. And I agree, hose with open-toed shoes give me the creeps. Never never never. Put the two rules together, and you get: closed-toe shoes for business/dress. Sigh, a lot of baggage.
I also still have all “those rules” in my head. Recently visiting Savannah, Georgia, I reminisced with a lady in a gift shop about the “old days” when, as children, we had to wear those little straw hats and white gloves to Sunday school. I still think fondly of the image of my mum in her elbow-length, white gloves and a 3’4 length sleeve coat. Still…. I’m not saying I want the rules back!
Rules yes, we all have those…even here in the Antipodes…but the young-uns don’t seem to have any and their form of dress is, well, let me just say I see very few well dressed young women these days (young defined as 30 and under). These ‘rules’ came about as a result of society and class, and more often than not, our mothers wanted or needed to be seen as belonging to a certain class. I think to a degree, class rules are still there, maybe more relaxed, but there is a difference between dressing for ‘fashion’ and dressing for ‘style’. In writing this, I realise that I equate ‘style’ with ‘class’ – the inference here on upper middle class…. There you have it, this was the bias I was unconsciously submerged in and remain (unashamedly) so. Footnote: Loved the picture, the decor and the outfits made me think there is a definite harking back to that ‘style’ – particularly love the grey dress with the scarf!
Having been born in the Deep South in the 60’s, I think I am at the tail end of the “super-groomed” population. I have very oily skin and am never without blotting papers or powder (Shiseido’s translucent pressed powder is phenomenal), but as late as the 90’s I was still seeing plenty of women touch up with compacts during the day. Now you see women fixing lipstick and that’s about it.
I have managed to adapt to nude legs for business dress, but that went against everything I was taught, and it wasn’t easy. It requires good leg skin tone to look right – for me, either a tan or makeup. I am hoping Duchess Kate’s love of nude hose will catch on!
My nose doesn’t worry me in terms of shininess, only in terms of size. 😉 I still struggle with mixed patterns, sparkles in the daytime and low necklines in the daytime — don’t do them myself and don’t like them on others. There I’ve had my growl.
I grew up with the ‘rules’ too! I wear slips when I think I need them and have an interesting collection! However, I don’t worry about my shiny nose. Great topic!
I seem to have blocked out all the messages (for good or ill), so I often have to ask my daughter about things. She didn’t get the messages from me but luckily she pays more attention to the world around her.
I am so pleased to hear that I am not the only one to rely on a daughter in this way – I have absolutely no confidence in my own instincts in the makeup/fashion arena, and she is unfailingly helpful.
My mother did not believe in rules, so it was sometimes hard for my sister and I to intuit them. I remember all the dress codes of the 50’s and early 60’s, but they are not so strongly attached. I hated wearing pantyhose, but at 67, my legs are at the same time the most shapely part of me, but are disfigured by veins, age spots, scars; its a mixed blessing that they are no longer stylish as it means that summer skirts and dresses are really problematic.
I think that anyone over 50 who thinks they need powder needs to stand in front of the mirror in the bright sunshine. Powder and the mineral makeups often make things worse when seen in the bright light. There are primers that help with the enlarged pores. I try to take the French women of my age as an example, and keep the makeup (which I do wear every day) as natural as I can make it.
Ellen,
Try Sally Hansen Airbrush legs. You spray it into your hand, then apply it to your leg, keep blending until its dry. I agree about the powder and mineral makeup. I’ve never used much (if any) powder even when I was younger, just a small amount of foundation. Mineral makeup is a disaster for anyone over 30 – it looks great when you first apply it, but a few hours later its settled into the fine lines that you wouldn’t normally see.
Coming of age in California in the late 60’s-early 70’s, I learned few “rules” about dressing. My mother’s main concern was getting me out of the deep purple “hippie” jumpsuit that I loved!
One thing I do miss is dressing up for things. I love to get dressed up for a dinner out, or to travel. It seems there are very few “special” occasions anymore. I get “dressed up” to go to the grocery store! But i do it for me, because I like it. One thing I can’t get used to is mixing metals — wearing a yellow gold watch with a white gold necklace for example. Unless you’re piling on tons of stuff, all different materials, it just doesn’t look right to me. interesting and fun post!
Oh I wouldn’t mind a few rules like: wear underwear under your day wear not in lieu of it,
don’t wear pajamas everywhere, cover your toes during a snow storm ~ no flips flops in Boston in January, leave the UGGs home when you head to the beach for a swim in July.
Wearing bright white (not winter white) in New England is dangerous – snow plows can’t distinguish you from the white stuff on the road. Cranky, yes it has been a v. loong winter and at least my shiny nose helps my friends and neighbors find me in the snow storm!
Pettipants! Haven’t thought of them for a long time. Yes to the powder on the nose for me; otherwise my large nose stands out like a beacon (like Noreen). The trick is finding a good powder, which for me is a Clinique powder applied with a brush. Yes to the pantyhose with dresses when the weather is cool. But in the summer…forget about it! That’s when I bring out the self tanner and hope for the best.
Perhaps you could do a post on new rules ? Some of us would like some ! And when rules go out of the window ( as happened in the 60s ) new ones do emerge but aren’t always made explicit . I’ve certainly seen rules since I started following style blogs and it would be nice to be able to discuss them .
I never think about my nose – now I’ll be looking at it all day! It’s fun reading these comments about which rules people still like to stick to. I agree about stockings being necessary with closed-toe shoes (but not sneakers), slips are still very handy, and I would not be averse to pettipants.
One rule I wish they held to in restaurants – a piece of pie should be served pointing towards the eater with the fork placed across the back of the plate!
Whoops, I mean the fork should be along the side of the pie. Shouldn’t it?
I’m 29 so not as qualified to speak on oiliness after a certain age…but I used to constantly check my nose and “T-zone” for oiliness and felt most self-conscious about this area (and therefore most self-confident when it was not oily). Blotting papers, quick back-of-the-hand absorption, powder, etc. The set of beauty rules I grew up with included “never choose a moisturizer with oil!” as it was thought to add to your oily “problem” areas.
Then I started using just coconut oil as my moisturizer, following the logic that maybe my skin produced too much oil because it was actually dry and overcompensating. Lo and behold, a lovely “glow” without the oily slick emerged, and I never feel the need to blot, powder, or otherwise doctor my formerly shiny nose. And if I do get the old urge to powder, it usually ends up looking a bit sludgy mixed with the coconut oil and I realize I would’ve been better off without it.
Worth a try with coconut or jojoba oil–but I’d go with just straight oil, not mixed in with other things that might be drying out your skin unnecessarily.
I only think about shine when I notice myself looking really, really, really shiny in a photo. Other than that, I never think about it. I haven’t worn hose in the summer, including to work at an investment bank …ever. It was technically in our “dress code” and I was always praying for the day that someone would say something stupid to me so I could go medieval on his or her ass, but no one ever dared.
Have not really felt constricted by “rules”, but to me they are an enjoyable luxury to either observe or “flout” when necessary. It’s rather nice to have guidelines, but they are not set in stone.
The current one about no hose I take pleasure in breaking, all the time. They give a smooth line and nice coverage– I’m not about to mess around with makeup for my legs or tanner. Kate’s got the right idea!
My daily uniform (with variations) is a denim or twill skirt, button down shirt, another layer like a cardigan or colorful jean-type jacket (but must be colorful, not denim) a belt sometimes, the dreaded hose or opaque tights, and flats or boots. Always a colorful or oversized steel watch, several silver link or bangle bracelets jumbled with said watch, bold ring on each ring finger, ropes of pearls or beads or a pendant. Feel the most comfortable in this, and can imagine wearing it well into my dotage! I love to see what other people put together, but this is what works for me…