Sage Advice or Ageism?

It’s no secret that we live in a culture that doesn’t exactly revere our elders. It’s generally assumed that “looking younger” is a universal and laudable goal. Now, that goal is even being packaged as an economic investment, especially for women (but men aren’t immune). To get a better job, or to keep the one you have, getting bleached, dyed, nipped, tucked, lipo’d, and/or botoxed is presented as a smart career move. Employers want people who are keeping up with the times in a fast-paced, constantly changing environment, we’re told, and looking like the grandmother of the hiring manager signals that we no longer have the energy or mental nimbleness to keep up. The generation that declared, “never trust anyone over 30” is now reaping what we’ve sown.

One of the latest and most unambiguously titled books in this arena is How Not to Look Old: Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter, 10 Times Better by Charla Krupp. I haven’t read the book, but according to the New York Times article Nice Résumé. Have You Considered Botox?,

The book is the latest makeover title to treat the aging of one’s exterior as a disease whose symptoms are to be fought to the death or, at least, mightily camouflaged. But the book offers a serious rationale for such vigilant attempts at age control, arguing that trying to pass for younger is not so much a matter of sexual allure as of job security.

“Looking hip is not just about vanity anymore, it’s critical to every woman’s personal and financial survival,” according to the book jacket.

The NYT writer, Natasha Singer goes on to say:

Many people would shun a book if it were titled “How Not to Look Jewish” or “How Not to Look Gay” because to cater to discrimination is to capitulate to it. But the success of “How Not to Look Old” indicates that popular culture is willing to buy into ageism as an acceptable form of prejudice, even against oneself.

“Ageism is one of the last frontiers of discrimination where people think that a way around it is not to be seen to age, but we would never say that women should try to look or act more male in order to avoid sexism,” said Molly Andrews, a psychologist who is a director of the Center for Narrative Research at the University of East London.

I’m of a mixed mind about this. In my line of work, we really don’t care about age so much as experience, and whether the individual seems to have kept up with technology and is willing to continue to learn. Some of the most forward-thinking people I deal with daily are well over 50 and don’t go to great pains to hide it. Still, if I were to find myself unemployed tomorrow, I’d probably be scrutinizing my appearance and wanting to present myself as energized and contemporary if not necessarily younger. At this point in my life, I’d probably draw the line at anything medical though.

What about you? Does age impact your career? How far would you go to improve your job prospects?
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11 Comments

  1. Being in the technology field, I don’t know that looking younger helps. Considering those I know in the field – I’d have to say that looks – of any kind – play very little into the hiring process. Then again, it’s been so long since I’ve been job hunting, I’m not sure I remember how to go about it, much less know what people are looking for.

    However, for the first time in my life, I now have the means and the time to work on how I look. I’m not sure it will get me anywhere when pursuing a job – but I think the better (not necessarily younger – just better) you feel you look, the better you present yourself to others. This has to help in job interviews.

  2. I’m employed as a fitness instructor, specifically teaching indoor cycle classes. It’s imperative that I’m in shape, so I can do the classes.

    Or is it?

    I’ve seen instructors who are well overweight, and no one seems to care.

    I hold myself up to a standard of fitness to set an example for the people who take my classes, and I experience a certain level of worry over aging, so that keeps me on top of things. But I won’t get cosmetic surgery to hold onto my career.

    Recently, I read an article in the NYT which stated that many top fitness instructors were “women over 40.” The median age of female instructors in company would support that statistic. These women are the most popular, as well. Incidentally, the most popular male instructors are also over 40. The ages of the people in my classes span from 20-70. I think that’s brilliant.

  3. Thanks for quoting Singer’s article, which I read and loved.Recently was part of a selection process for a major retail book chain. Three very well qualified women were rejected, one for not wearing lipstick (she ad very stylish attire), one for looking “a little butch” (wash and wear hair, minimal makeup but perfectly acceptable IMO). One for weight. Age ranged from early 40’s to early 50’s. Believe me, age discrimination is rampant. At the same time revile the tight, packaged, brittle look the book promotes and the narrow thinking it “sells”.

  4. How far would I go? Color my hair, exercise moderately. Carry Dowdy Alarm when I shop. As a freelancer who’ll turn 60 soon, I want to look great for my age, not look desperately-trying-for-younger.

    I want to live from a position of joy, not fear.

  5. duchesse, yes from the cover of the book, the author looks just like every Trophy Wife-Bot you see in Newport Beach. A look I strive to avoid… ;-p

    I color my hair, but not because of grey (which I’m sure I have plenty of by now). I’ve colored it since my early 30’s because my natural color doesn’t do much for my skin tone. I played around with blonde a bit last year, but have gone back to my preferred auburn.

  6. I’m glad you raised this point: Of course, the “overweight” instructors are fit enough. I was thinking of the narrow and accepted view that thin equals fit. To me, fit doesn’t necessarily mean thin, it means “able,” even though in my comment I didn’t sound like it. (I re-read the comment, and I realize it sounded judgmental. I’m sorry about that.)

  7. Hmmm, I had a job interview today for a process engineering position with another silly valley start up, and as for how far I went, welp, I actually went out and bought a nice pair of black pants (which I hemmed with duct tape and 4 sewn tacks) and a blazer (Macy’s), and, perish the thought, some stylish yet comfortable black square toe leather shoes with a 1 and a half inch heel. I wore friggin heels to an interview. Try as I might to find a decent button down single color oxford shirt at Macy’s, I just ended up going to Sears and buying 3 men’s dress shirts (white, gray and light blue, and a bargain at $19.99 each). I figured I would be wearing the horrendous polyester blazer, so no one would notice the shirt anyways (I went with the blue shirt). BTW, I couldn’t wait to get home and change into my cargo shorts and rugby shirt. Clearly, Une femme got the fashion genes in the family. ; )

  8. “Many people would shun a book if it were titled “How Not to Look Jewish” or “How Not to Look Gay” because to cater to discrimination is to capitulate to it. But the success of “How Not to Look Old” indicates that popular culture is willing to buy into ageism as an acceptable form of prejudice, even against oneself.

    “Ageism is one of the last frontiers of discrimination where people think that a way around it is not to be seen to age, but we would never say that women should try to look or act more male in order to avoid sexism,” said Molly Andrews, a psychologist who is a director of the Center for Narrative Research at the University of East London.”

    I think these statements, while well-intentioned, do not completely gibe with reality. They might not buy a book on the subject, but I’m sure there are plenty of gay men in traditional macho fields who in fact do try not to look gay. Many upwardly mobile people from ethnic or minority groups do try not to act or look like the stereotype of their group.

    Women are indeed told to act more male, e.g., to be less emotional (although I think that’s sexism, the emotionalism of men is ignored). The problem is that even when they act more stereotypically male or less stereotypically female, they still get criticized, e.g., Hillary Clinton. They can’t win. (BTW, every time I saw a sexist reference to H.C. I wrote an email of complaint.)

    I once read a very popular book on communication that suggested that women do exercises to lower their voices. I found that shocking.

    As for age, I’ve worked in some very difficult situations on a temporary basis lately and I genuinely believe my age would have been used against me by co-workers. Fortunately, I look young for my age. Needless to say, it wasn’t the kind of thing I could have tested because telling one would have been telling all. I’ve never regretted it.

    I’m not saying that you were doing it, but I hate it when people suggest to others that genuine problems could easily be overcome with only a little bit of character or gumption. It’s completely disingenuous. People should be allowed to judge their situations for themselves.

    It’s difficult and unfair but you can’t fight some of these issues without a strategy or widespread society consensus.

    In my old age, I’ve been trying to remind myself that the straight politically correct answer can’t always be directly applied and not to feel guilty about realizing that — not that I’m giving up. As with sexism and racism, I also complain to the media when I see ageist references, but dealing with it effectively in real life is another matter altogether.

  9. Anon – absolutely agree that there are forms of institutionalized discrimination (ageism, sexism) that no amount of “pulling up by one’s own bootstraps” can overcome.

    Regarding “acting more male” in the workplace, I think women get caught in a double bind. We’re penalized for being “too shrill” or “too emotional”, but a woman who shows little emotion is labeled a bitch. It’s often a no-win situation.