special occasion dressing (that won’t make you feel like a doily)

J Kara maxi dress & jacket
J Kara maxi dress with embellished jacket

I’ve received a few requests in recent weeks for suggestions for Special Occasion dressing. Yes, we’re coming up on that time of year…weddings, graduations, other celebrations that may actually involve printed invitations received in matching envelopes. (Or maybe a cruise with one or more Formal Nights.) As someone who gets easily flummoxed by special occasion dressing (on those rare occasions it rears its head in my world), my inclination is to sidestep the topic entirely, but perhaps it’s a good time to review options, as our friends’ kids are getting to that age…

As mentioned in last week’s post on dressy low-heeled shoes, we no longer live in a world of strict and clearly delineated dress codes (unless one travels in circles where official state functions are a regular occurrence). Unless an event is indicated as White or Black Tie, what’s appropriate may be open to at least some degree of interpretation. Your region, social circle, time of day and your own comfort levels will all factor in. There’s more room for personal style than ever, and as long as the overall look reads as dressy, you should be fine.

It’s not that there aren’t plenty of options in the stores; certainly you can throw a rock and hit something that looks “dressy.” The trick is finding something that is chic, sophisticated and doesn’t immediately bring to mind furniture upholstery or one of those crocheted toilet paper roll covers. Which means that I tend to shy away from the usual floral prints and all-over lace numbers. For some, sleeves are a must, while others in warmer climates may prefer sleeveless tops. I’ve tried to include styles that won’t require complicated undergarments, and are at least knee-length on women of average height. My own preference is for simplicity of styling and details. And I’ve looked for pieces that will travel well.

The Gown

See above, and I’ve included some in the widget at the bottom of the post. It’s the most formal option, usually reserved for White or Black Tie events, or mothers of brides or grooms. Though this may an occasion-specific and the least flexible option, sometimes only a gown will do. Here’s a very pretty plus sized option in a sophisticated color:

plus-size formal dress
J Kara Two piece long gown

 

Cocktails, anyone?

cocktail dresses
LBD and then some. left: lovely detailing on top | right: a bit of whimsy

A cocktail dress with some statement jewelry will work for most evening events. It doesn’t have to be black. 😉

Daytime Dressy

daytime special occasion dresses
left: interesting draping | right: bold color

My instinct for daytime events is to keep embellishment on clothes themselves to a minimum, and stick to simple designs. You can use jewelry and accessories to zing up the look. I’d avoid anything that looks too much like it’s meant for the office (e.g. grey or navy sheath).

The Not-A-Dress

Jean Paul Gaultier long skirt
twirling optional, though you may really want to.

If structured dresses aren’t your thing, or if your style leans more bohemian, you do have options. Picture a skirt like the one above paired with a white silk blouse or top. Knot that button-front blouse at the waist, add a lacy camisole underneath and keep an extra button undone. 😉 (Remember too that the shoes and accessories can change the look entirely.) You can keep the top streamlined and add an interesting wide belt. Or accent with your favorite vintage silver and turquoise jewelry. Wide leg or palazzo pants in a soft, fluid fabric would also work with this concept.

Or for evening events, you can always eschew the skirt entirely and go the Catherine Deneuve route with a feminine tuxedo.

Shrug It Out

open front shrug sweater
Eileen Fisher simple shrug

Perhaps that otherwise-perfect dress or top is sleeveless. Or your event may extend from a warm afternoon into a cool evening, or your experience of hotel ballrooms is that you’re always seated directly underneath the air-conditioning vent set permanently to High. A shrug can be just the thing add some unobtrusive coverage.

If conditions aren’t too warm, you can always wear a tuxedo-style jacket open over your dress for a bit of that French masculine/feminine glam.

Do you have any Special Occasions coming up? Do you have a tried-and-true outfit or look that you rely on for these occasions?

MORE SPECIAL OCCASION OPTIONS:


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12 Comments

  1. I enjoy dressing up but there are fewer occasions for formal dressing. The bohemian black skirt worn with different tops would easily handle most of my dress-up occasions.

  2. I so rarely have occasion to dress up, but I love looking at these fab options. I would aim for a swirly boho dress or skirt, like your last selection. xox

  3. I found a metallic tweed jacket that I wear over black pants…comfortable with flats but very dressy!

  4. I’m of the tux persuasion as I’m not a floaty dress lover at all, but try to feminize it a bit with a shimmery top and/or statement jewelry. Then again, it’s very rare that I go to this type of event!

  5. I’ve been commissioned to write a piece on occasion wear dressing and I do think a decent cocktail dress is the answer. Though personally I prefer Casual Glamour and am not a huge fan of more formal occasions

  6. This is where the LBD comes in handy and it can be mixed up with different jackets and shawls. That top dress is very pretty though.

  7. I had a body-conscious, silky, two-piece dress, knee-length, that was perfect for most dressy occasions that come my way. It was in a subdued sophisticated print, but in the wrong colors for me– coffee brown and black! I finally realized that.

    For a daytime spring wedding, I was in despair until I pulled together a thin dressy blazer in turquoise polished cotton, which I paired with a navy skirt and pretty jewelry. Since in “real life” I lean toward casual, but somewhat tailored simplicity, I tend to feel most comfortable in a version of that on more elevated occasions. But sometimes it is fun to go outside your comfort zone, of course. I do know this— anything too flowy or billowy on me, doesn’t work.

  8. I love to get dressed up for special occasions and I agree there is nothing like a beautiful skirt that can be made incredible with the right blouse and accessories. I have a limited amount of dresses although this year I bought a beautiful silk slip dress from Eileen Fisher. Dramatic coats and jackets can also dress up an outfit. Last gown I wore was at my daughters wedding. I went for a strapless midnight blue chiffon with a sheer wrap.

    Accidental Icon
    http://www.accidentalicon.com

  9. I only wish there were more “dressy” events in my life! Time was, years ago, when they were plentiful but now most occasions are just so casual; husband feels his best in a tie and jacket and even that seems out of place a lot of the time. Hmmmm: sounds like we’re getting older!

  10. I really appreciate your suggestions as I am always at a loss with formal wear. I was struck by the first dress you have posted – the long maxi dress with embellished jacket – and how terrible it looks on the model. It is a beautiful dress, and would look lovely on an elegant older woman (picture Blythe Danner in that dress — gorgeous!!) But that thin, young model looks like she is wearing her mother’s dress. Just saying that companies could display their wares better if they sought out models whose age was relative to the age of the potential customer for that garment.

  11. Thanks for this, Sue. I’m getting married for the second time next March (I’ll be 47) and I am struggling to find a dress. It’s a nice cocktail party sort of affair. I’ve been shocked by how tough it is to find a good looking, non-dowdy, non-stick figure-model option. All I need is a well-designed, reasonably tailored cocktail dress. I’m now considering having a tailor sew one, the hunt has been so arduous and unproductive.

  12. I have had very good luck with Ralph Lauren dresses. They are well made, of a quality knit jersey, flattering, and affordable. And travel friendly! Many of the styles can be dressed up-way up -depending on accessories, or down. That gives you the option of buying a dress that is event worthy and wonderfully wearable again. I can’t bear to spend money on a one-shot dress! I have a one shoulder R L dress in cocktail length that is surprisingly flattering and elegant. I never thought I’d like a one shoulder, but it is sexy and sophisticated without being cheesy-sleazy. For my stepson’s wedding I got another RL with a high-low hem and ruching at the side, sleeveless, love it! Instead of the “Amish Streetwalker’ (you know, modest and gaudy at the same time!) “mother of the bride”gowns (yeesh! horrors!) go for something simple that you feel good and elegant in and then add for fabulous accessories.
    I have learned to go to Ralph Lauren dresses first.