Chacun à son goût

Fashion blogger handing down the latest style edict.

It’s been almost a year and a half since I started blogging as Une femme d’un certain age. Like Duchesse, I found that women our age just weren’t being addressed in fashion publications and blogs; like materfamilias, I hoped to “write to find out what I think” and to try and suss out my own style at this point in my life. And I hoped especially to have the kind of conversations about style that I don’t get to have much in my daily life, with those who share my interest beyond what the Celebutante du jour is wearing this week.

So while I have a better handle on my own style than I did two years ago, I also feel that continuing this blog is a way to continue refining, to throw some ideas out there for feedback, to maybe expand my horizons a bit, and to stay fresh. And while I’ve never imagined myself to be any kind of style maven, I do have my likes and dislikes, sometimes rather strong.

There’s an inevitable bit of judgement that comes with opining on any topic, and the trick seems to be finding that space between discriminating and imperious. My opinions about clothes and styles and anything else are just that, my opinions, and I expect disagreement with my view of things. Sometimes I disagree with myself looking back over a few weeks or months. Sometimes I worry that I’ll write something that will hurt the feelings of someone who regularly reads and comments on my blog, which is the last thing I’d ever want.

But I also wanted to have fun with this blog, and it’s hard to have fun while walking on eggshells while trying not to offend anyone. If something strikes me as ugly or ridiculous, I’m going to say so. And if you disagree, I know you’ll say so as well. I don’t know how well it comes through, but my snarkiest bits are usually written with tongue firmly in cheek and are not intended for internal use. And if I’m going to snark, it’s not going to be directed at people whose primary style consideration is that of practicality or frugality, it’s going to be aimed square at the bullseye on those who can afford to hire a stylist but still walk the red carpet looking like a two bit hooker or a shower curtain, or the designers who bring the outrageously-priced fugly.

Style is about so much more than just how we dress and accessorize. It’s how we are in the world, how we express who we are. You can dress exactly “right” according to body type, what’s current, what colors are most flattering, but if you feel foreign in what you’re wearing, you won’t look or feel your best. There’s often a continuum between what looks “best” from a purely external vantage point, and what feels best (if clothing didn’t appeal to our emotions, we’d have a total of two interchangeable outfits in our closets, one to wear while the other was being laundered) and at different times we may more back and forth on that continuum.

Materfamilias sums it up quite well here, I think:

Fashion and style can’t always be seen from the outside, if that makes any sense, and while you can’t have depths without surfaces, neither should you get stuck at the superficial, right?

Most of all, I feel that fashion and style should be fun. If you’re trying to please everyone, or trying to follow (often conflicting) sets of rules, the trepidation and self-doubt sets in, and you lose the joy. As someone who tends to question myself probably too much when it comes to style, I’m looking for more joy, more delight. The ongoing “conversations” about style in the lovely community of bloggers I’ve stumbled into is helping me to find it.

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  1. A toast to you at the 1.5 year mark, Deja Pseu! I’ve greatly appreciated your opinions, stories, photos and enthusiasms- always interesting to me.
    Please keep writing, as long as you’re having fun- I’ll be a loyal reader.

  2. hear, hear! here, here; there, there; any and everywhere – you are an inspiration! when you have fun, so do your readers. many more bon mots, etc. and so forth 🙂

  3. I wanted to say what anonymous said: Hear, hear! Very well said, especially your attention to FUN. I’ve been enjoying your “snarking” for over a year now and look forward to many more of your thoughtful, observant, and particularly FUN musings on style and fashion for we women of a certain age.

  4. I always enjoy this blog and have NEVER found it offensive. I know of offensive blogs – nasty in tone towards the world or angrily self-righteous. This is not one of them – keep up the great work and don’t change a thing for us!

  5. Et voilà ! Très bien dit! De ma part deja pseu, j’apprécie beaucoup votre blogue, surtout n’y changez rien. Nous sommes tous des femmes d’un certain age ici qui avons vécu suffisamment pour se comprendre entre nous. Félicitations et longue vie à votre blogue.


  6. One of the reasons that I read fashion blogs like yours is that I’m looking for an original point of view, and not just a rehash of what I read in the glossies.
    Enough already with all the fawning by fashion editors over the celebutantes and their tastless outfits and designers who create clothes that only look good on 90 lb teenagers.
    Deja, I want to hear your opinions and ideas, and I love the way that you express them with gentle humor.

  7. My early morning gift to myself is to check your blog. I am happily amazed at your ability to strike the right note, whether on style or more serious matters.

  8. Your “generosity of spirit,” noted by la belette rouge, is what makes your blog “safe” for your readers. Your radar is trustworthy. You snark only those who have genuinely earned it and not those who’ve made a fashion or style mistake. I very much enjoy your blog and look forward to your continued postings with joy and delight. Congratulations!

  9. @ Dejapseu: Of late, I have not been commenting but I love reading your blog. 🙂 I won’t be ‘une femme d’un certain age’ for many years but I read your blog for the essence of fashion and style. The sublimation transcends age groups and their specific style challenges. Keep writing and I hope you will make time to be in London sometime so we can meet!

  10. Congratulations!!! And, please do not change a thing about your blog. Do not walk on egg shells. Fashion is fun and your blog is even more fun than that.
    The world of politically correct I hope never impacts the blogosphere to such an extent that we have to apologize for our taste. I love that you can openly say”I like this” and/or “I don’t like this.”
    I have been to blogs that make pronouncements about clothing that I have found to be lacking a generosity of spirit. That is not your blog.

  11. Of course love your blog. I’m very much interested in your opinion (even if we disagree, which we don’t). I have been thinking about a comment you posted on “La Belette Rouge” the other day about interview questions, etc. I would very much like to ask you some questions in that vein as I have NEVER interviewed very well and it is very disconcerting. Right now I am a SAHM that volunteers at church and school. Everyone’s happy to have me work for free but when jobs become available, I never get them! Sorry for such a long comment.

  12. Dang..everyone else said all the good stuff first. But, I’ll sound like a “me too”. A day without Pseu is a day bereft of fun and snark..two things that I require in judicious amounts to get through my day.

  13. I second what belle de ville said (so much better than I ever could). You are so right, fashion is about fun, I might have to go looking for some fun tomorrow…

  14. tessascoffs – I’d be more than happy to answer any questions about interviewing. Please feel free to drop me an e-mail; I’ll try to help in whatever way I can.

  15. You are so right about not being stylish if the clothes don’t work for who you are as a person, they not only have to work with your body shape, proportions, colouring etc, but your personality, only then will you be truely stylish!